tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post743367606646317850..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: May Secret Agent #59Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-26021335972160262102010-05-24T03:48:52.761-04:002010-05-24T03:48:52.761-04:00I was intrigued with her vivid imagination and her...I was intrigued with her vivid imagination and her passion for books. I wonder if she can create many characters and how real they can be.Christina Farleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03459203755170266842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60655433423402773542010-05-24T01:49:34.927-04:002010-05-24T01:49:34.927-04:00Um...I don't rep women's fiction?
If you ...Um...I don't rep women's fiction?<br /><br />If you meant YA contemporary from a girl's POV? that's totally different. If that's the case, I'm quite intrigued. While at first I question the reason for her being in the library at midnight, I assume that's part of the mystery that will unveil itself in due course.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-19418838903416250422010-05-22T21:04:18.306-04:002010-05-22T21:04:18.306-04:00This was a little difficult for me to get into. I ...This was a little difficult for me to get into. I would read further to see where it was going, but the switch in pov was jarring.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17876772923733290496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-47214612288966682382010-05-22T15:08:34.360-04:002010-05-22T15:08:34.360-04:00The writing is good and the information you presen...The writing is good and the information you presented is interesting. The vodka drinking mom and the fictional character that may prove to be more than fictional both piqued my interest, as did the - she was safe until tomorrow - line.<br /><br />But I kept getting pulled out of the story with questions I didn't think I should be asking. How does she manage to be inside a library at midnight? Did the book come from the library or is it hers? And why is she writing in a library book (if it is a library book?) And why bring up - you're safe until tomorrow - and not follow up on it? <br /><br />I should be getting lost in your world instead of thinking those things, but I wasn't. Perhaps get to the point of 'why' she was there in the first place, as opposed to just being there.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-75895621340210522062010-05-21T18:23:05.266-04:002010-05-21T18:23:05.266-04:00Intriguing, but I'm also a book girl.
Not tha...Intriguing, but I'm also a book girl.<br /><br />Not that I can tell from this short excerpt, but if books come alive for this character, you should be aware of the British mystery The Eyre Affair.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-44068638330644586492010-05-21T14:44:21.319-04:002010-05-21T14:44:21.319-04:00I'd keep reading, too, although the use of &qu...I'd keep reading, too, although the use of "the girl" for Daisy is throwing off my sense of POV. Are we supposed to be in Daisy's thoughts? Does she refer to herself as "the girl"?Kate Fallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12856887940900664692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77229458065005250322010-05-21T12:52:30.309-04:002010-05-21T12:52:30.309-04:00The last paragraph is what hooked me - maybe start...The last paragraph is what hooked me - maybe start with that? The formatting is a little jarring, but that's easily fixed. If I picked it up, I'd keep reading.Sumayyahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08407376976946002521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66874042987453149742010-05-20T13:08:03.127-04:002010-05-20T13:08:03.127-04:00For some reason when I finished reading I had to r...For some reason when I finished reading I had to recheck the title. While reading your excerpt I got the vague sensation that "Daisy Chain" was the title. Now granted I only have the excerpt to go on, but if the writing in the novel is the catalyst for the plot, it seems fitting. Just my random thought of the day.M. Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10937497630581395732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-34566197386437774122010-05-19T22:43:12.846-04:002010-05-19T22:43:12.846-04:00I think bluestocking pointed out the same things t...I think bluestocking pointed out the same things that jarred my reading. And to be honest I thought Daisy was writing some story in the margins - that piqued my interest. But, like Blue said, choose either setting or establish character's voice first. If the library is a character unto its own I suggest dropping all that at the beginning - and simply make the heading - Notting Hill, London, 1992 - and show us the rest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-12009806119831688592010-05-19T17:27:18.983-04:002010-05-19T17:27:18.983-04:00Is this the right genre? Because it sounds more li...Is this the right genre? Because it sounds more like YA than women's fiction.Bronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13029635239132926178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83461683261959778672010-05-19T17:02:59.132-04:002010-05-19T17:02:59.132-04:00huh. That first paragraph seems to be a bit of a m...huh. That first paragraph seems to be a bit of a muddle of things. we get a sense of setting, interior monologue (which should be in italics or something, bc it's rather disjointed otherwise). Good description of the book, then another disjointed detail about mom and vodka. I think you should chose one thing to accomplish in this first paragraph, whether it's scene setting or a sense of the protag's voice, then gradually work in the other elements. all smooshed together doesn't work for me. and i'm worried the love of books thing, while important to other writers, may not translate to a more general ya/mg audience. and beyond the book thing, where's the rest of the plot? you may want to make that apparent sooner than just a loney girl with mommy issues.Bluestockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01225973854788421827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58584155624646244342010-05-19T16:26:52.420-04:002010-05-19T16:26:52.420-04:00I'm confused. Is this YA? I thought the genres...I'm confused. Is this YA? I thought the genres stopped at YA. Anyway, I like the opening, but I love books. I'm wondering if someone who doesn't have that same love would be hooked.Kelly Hashwayhttp://www.kellyhashway.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1940936028881446182010-05-19T15:00:04.314-04:002010-05-19T15:00:04.314-04:00Kind of hooked. I'd keep reading a little more...Kind of hooked. I'd keep reading a little more, but action should start pretty soon. It seems like you are leading us into back story--something I wouldn't suggest for the very beginning.Anna Bankshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04216213561070725760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67488986630125637862010-05-19T14:54:36.749-04:002010-05-19T14:54:36.749-04:00Loved loved loved loved LOVED it. Especially about...Loved loved loved loved LOVED it. Especially about how the book calmed her, and I like the protagonist already. I'm fascinated and want to know why she's scared of the next day, I want to know why Jane Eyre in particular is so comforting to her, and I want to know what the figment of her imagination says. :) Definitely hooked.Bethany Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12829932931010851406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27606790249071103372010-05-19T14:16:55.862-04:002010-05-19T14:16:55.862-04:00Sorry, I'm not following. I'd keep reading...Sorry, I'm not following. I'd keep reading to see if there was clarification, but not much further.middle grade ninjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15132043736808253237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78646992713192350182010-05-19T14:01:12.438-04:002010-05-19T14:01:12.438-04:00Color me partially hooked.
I suggest less words a...Color me partially hooked.<br /><br />I suggest less words and more action in the beginning. Action-type words instead of physical. Less backstory.<br /><br />That said, love the line about the '...vodka her mother loved..."<br />Stuff like that creates questions in the mind and that leads to interest.<br /><br />The creation of more interest came in the '...figment of Daisy's active imagination..." That is good stuff, but you could lose the word 'active'.<br /><br />Good luckHuntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9613844236639593282010-05-19T13:47:56.620-04:002010-05-19T13:47:56.620-04:00Very intrigued to know why someone's in a publ...Very intrigued to know why someone's in a public library in Ladbroke Grove (not really Notting Hill) at midnight. Not sure how much light would come through the window (from the streetlights? the moon?) And assuming Daisy is American from the use of 'cursive' and 'couch' - an English girl would say joined-up writing and sofa (possibly couch, but unlikely). And curious whether there really are sofas in North Kensington library, seems unusual for a British public library.<br />Anyway, it's the situation which hooks me - I'd read on.Keren Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13121027210783177857noreply@blogger.com