tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post7880563047442105740..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: First Kiss #7Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-39580410354026413762019-02-14T13:42:51.548-05:002019-02-14T13:42:51.548-05:00I have the sense that there's a lot of pent-up...I have the sense that there's a lot of pent-up tension leading up to this scene! Even without more context, I'm seeing a sort of push-and-pull between their shared desire and whatever is holding them back. If this is in fact what you're going for, I'd suggest that you do more to emphasize it. You write that she stretched "leisurely" -- is she toying with him, drawing out the moment, or pretending it's not a big deal? Then you switch to vigorous imagery with words like "planted" and "trapping." It's an interesting contrast. Maybe because he's serving as her bodyguard there is an element of command in her relationship to him? Though he certainly doesn't seem passive in the kiss! Intriguing stuff.<br /><br />Good luck!Matrilhttp://cynthiaailshie.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com