tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8319034563813255158..comments2024-03-29T03:41:44.480-04:00Comments on Authoress: 3 YA FantasyAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73416699891439585562010-03-28T14:37:43.497-04:002010-03-28T14:37:43.497-04:00It's a nice sentence but doesn't make me w...It's a nice sentence but doesn't make me want to keep readingRobbinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370900593361310765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76759088630287136022010-03-26T22:30:21.939-04:002010-03-26T22:30:21.939-04:00Not quite hooked, sorry.Not quite hooked, sorry.Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68045813778496558522010-03-26T11:56:10.564-04:002010-03-26T11:56:10.564-04:00I'd keep reading. I think it's well writte...I'd keep reading. I think it's well written, sets a definite mood, and matches the genre.feywriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17224558691840388691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36028219880843715852010-03-25T22:42:36.059-04:002010-03-25T22:42:36.059-04:00My preference is to have something going on with a...My preference is to have something going on with a character right at the beginning. So, not hooked, I'm afraid.Stellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52482427829906517642010-03-25T22:37:43.098-04:002010-03-25T22:37:43.098-04:00I don't really care to read more or about what...I don't really care to read more or about what is going to happen. I've seen lines like this too many times before.Christihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02869396790375961091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70014199707612471752010-03-25T16:22:24.265-04:002010-03-25T16:22:24.265-04:00Not quite hooked. Sorry. I would at least like a p...Not quite hooked. Sorry. I would at least like a person in there somewhere, but I know 25 words is tight.melody colleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58247006149684564782010-03-25T15:57:45.381-04:002010-03-25T15:57:45.381-04:00Partially hooked. Depends on 2nd sentence.Partially hooked. Depends on 2nd sentence.Carol Newman Croninhttp://www.carolnewmancronin.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73534102819223101862010-03-25T13:59:50.492-04:002010-03-25T13:59:50.492-04:00Nice, but not hooked. I tend to skim over descrip...Nice, but not hooked. I tend to skim over descriptions like this when I'm reading.Vicki Rochohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07381089434014961076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-85283908701331843732010-03-25T13:46:58.602-04:002010-03-25T13:46:58.602-04:00Not hooked. One of the things I read agents hate f...Not hooked. One of the things I read agents hate for YA is starting with the setting...just an idea...why is the protagonist? I want to know her/him first.Carolyn Chambers Clarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03494503999922712440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31570641213444708732010-03-25T13:46:34.114-04:002010-03-25T13:46:34.114-04:00I agree with one of the above commenters. Its hard...I agree with one of the above commenters. Its hard for me to say whether I'm hooked or not. I'm a patient reader. If I want to read a book for whatever reason: a rec, a great cover, I'll stick with it for a while before giving up.<br /><br />Even so, I can't say this "grabbed me," ya know. But it didn't turn me off either. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the writing- that's for sure. And it did place me in the scens, so I say I like it! I hope agents would.sbjameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06986950185596914217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22843568627515816392010-03-25T12:54:42.769-04:002010-03-25T12:54:42.769-04:00I'd read more to find out what's up with t...I'd read more to find out what's up with the mist. :-)Shannon O'Donnellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17299313309059235876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40062756203982068262010-03-25T12:50:08.144-04:002010-03-25T12:50:08.144-04:00I would probably read the rest of the paragraph, b...I would probably read the rest of the paragraph, but it'd have to hook me quickly in the next few sentences. I'm sort of hoping the mist is a sign of something ominous.falconessehttp://falconesse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7757194705311915612010-03-25T12:49:53.399-04:002010-03-25T12:49:53.399-04:00Not hooked -- reads a bit awk IMONot hooked -- reads a bit awk IMOJoshua McCunehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17367262185912463258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50069563172317346582010-03-25T12:03:54.077-04:002010-03-25T12:03:54.077-04:00I like the way this sentence flows. I'd read m...I like the way this sentence flows. I'd read more.Kateehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03909851761164178447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78026823738584869852010-03-25T11:32:50.291-04:002010-03-25T11:32:50.291-04:00With that opening, this story could be about anyth...With that opening, this story could be about anything. Not hooked.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-5729029038737323312010-03-25T11:32:14.923-04:002010-03-25T11:32:14.923-04:00Hmm. I think it's a bit adjective-heavy. That ...Hmm. I think it's a bit adjective-heavy. That said, I'd keep reading - in the bookstore, I don't tend to stop after 25 words anyway.Esperantohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12051691926591464516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53686604015361760072010-03-25T11:27:51.942-04:002010-03-25T11:27:51.942-04:00I'd hop it up and add the magical flavor that ...I'd hop it up and add the magical flavor that I think you might be going for - but what do I know? I've only read 25 words!Chantal Kirklandhttp://eternallyconfused.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68808375038271446622010-03-25T11:21:11.704-04:002010-03-25T11:21:11.704-04:00No hooked yet. Seems overwritten, but I'd read...No hooked yet. Seems overwritten, but I'd read a little further.Stinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415189347501942340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41800260349013001992010-03-25T10:54:48.590-04:002010-03-25T10:54:48.590-04:00hmm, not hooked. The sentence was a bit much for m...hmm, not hooked. The sentence was a bit much for me. Like it's trying to hard to happen.Kristi Faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17527544253341529009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31844372847569282032010-03-25T10:25:10.252-04:002010-03-25T10:25:10.252-04:00Like the veil of mist and the small bedroom, but a...Like the veil of mist and the small bedroom, but agree with most- I'd like some action! However, I would read to the next sentence, hoping things would pick up. :)WyndyDaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-89373924809274739062010-03-25T10:20:23.703-04:002010-03-25T10:20:23.703-04:00The writing's good, and I can easlily live wit...The writing's good, and I can easlily live with no action for 25 words...<br />Still reading.Momwomannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71075768514863950162010-03-25T10:04:52.134-04:002010-03-25T10:04:52.134-04:00Not hooked yet. Beginning with a description of a ...Not hooked yet. Beginning with a description of a bedroom at night makes me think someone is going to be waking up or something. It just doesn't seem like a unique enough start.Sandy Williamshttp://brimfire.livejournal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-65140568150054061782010-03-25T09:54:55.082-04:002010-03-25T09:54:55.082-04:00not hooked, need actionnot hooked, need actionMeghan S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12447149254455271636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16888997584063489192010-03-25T09:45:29.419-04:002010-03-25T09:45:29.419-04:00I'm hooked. I can already picture someone in a...I'm hooked. I can already picture someone in a small bedroom feeling the air. Why are they in there? Why is the window open? Did they come through it? Are they waiting for someone?Amy Bennetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14557985374983652457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57064868816199553892010-03-25T09:32:12.357-04:002010-03-25T09:32:12.357-04:00Not hooked. It's the weather. There's no c...Not hooked. It's the weather. There's no character or action for me to latch onto.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.com