tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post865113497976771874..comments2024-03-28T02:12:56.114-04:00Comments on Authoress: May Secret Agent #53Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50776613816982826182010-05-24T10:06:34.820-04:002010-05-24T10:06:34.820-04:00Sounds fun so far. I'd like to see where this ...Sounds fun so far. I'd like to see where this goes.<br /><br />BTW, is that really Beth Hoffman? Cool!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31613577950156632312010-05-24T01:24:55.857-04:002010-05-24T01:24:55.857-04:00Love the voice and humor. The title has me intrigu...Love the voice and humor. The title has me intrigued. Would definitely keep reading.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90804035480062954942010-05-23T16:40:52.804-04:002010-05-23T16:40:52.804-04:00Love it. Great voice and intriguing set up! I defi...Love it. Great voice and intriguing set up! I definitely need to see more of this!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11542118948276092287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54352664532705087072010-05-21T22:10:59.333-04:002010-05-21T22:10:59.333-04:00I love it! This is my kind of book--Best of luck!...I love it! This is my kind of book--Best of luck!shelleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52262488151113303132010-05-21T20:47:00.336-04:002010-05-21T20:47:00.336-04:00Not hooked. The voice doesn't work for me. H...Not hooked. The voice doesn't work for me. Her own opinion is that she should be a drooling vegetable. And while she isn't, she does have memory problems. And yet,throughout this whole piece, there's not one hint of worry or fear.<br /><br />I'd have no problem with the voice if she was talking to another character. I'd see it as a front to hide her fear and worry. But she's talking to herself (actually, she's talking to me) and I can't imagine anyone in her situation having this kind of attitude when talking to herself.<br /><br />Perhaps add a bit here and there, a hint or two that shows underneath all the bluster, she is frightened or worried. And perhaps start somwhere other than having the MRI. It's a pretty stagnant opening.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29624598084297814792010-05-21T14:44:22.569-04:002010-05-21T14:44:22.569-04:00Quite a lot of supportive comments here, so I'...Quite a lot of supportive comments here, so I'll just share what didn't work for me:<br /><br />Like bluestocking, the last sentence of the second paragraph is so long it really stopped the flow of the writing for me. <br /><br />This feels like a backstory dump, rather than the start of a story. Since this is paranormal, I was expecting some sort of hook relating to how her brain surgery changed her. The things you mention, the forgetfulness, seem very normal. I felt a little let down that there wasn't some hint of something more. <br /><br />Good luck!Sheila JGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15371582292020275894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31017117886340473562010-05-21T03:10:04.291-04:002010-05-21T03:10:04.291-04:00An intresting beginning with a nice sense of humor...An intresting beginning with a nice sense of humor - makes me wanna read on.MrsBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79263425358593455452010-05-21T01:50:55.244-04:002010-05-21T01:50:55.244-04:00Nice beginning - it grabbed my interest and there&...Nice beginning - it grabbed my interest and there's already a sense of the character's voice. Congratulations! (PS I'm on a diet. No need for virtual sweets.)susan C Sheahttp://www.susancshea.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6830015399808613952010-05-20T16:56:01.526-04:002010-05-20T16:56:01.526-04:00Would definitely keep reading! Love the belly butt...Would definitely keep reading! Love the belly button question. Slightly put off by fecal-stained hospital gown, after I'm still enjoying the chocolate fondue pot image. Third paragraph could be tightened slightly.<br /><br />But nothing that would keep me from eagerly turning page.Sara J. Henryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145626175256433448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40983610984345983902010-05-20T16:39:41.034-04:002010-05-20T16:39:41.034-04:00Brilliant. Great title. Great imagery. I'm hoo...Brilliant. Great title. Great imagery. I'm hooked!Kevin McGillhttp://www.nicholauslyons.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56688499785114094552010-05-20T15:58:01.612-04:002010-05-20T15:58:01.612-04:00keep writing. would love to read more from you.keep writing. would love to read more from you.Nadjanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77414395036059179742010-05-20T15:21:23.037-04:002010-05-20T15:21:23.037-04:00I really would like to read more of this story!I really would like to read more of this story!Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-28170694069083068532010-05-20T14:19:43.083-04:002010-05-20T14:19:43.083-04:00OK ... I'm hooked! More please.OK ... I'm hooked! More please.Beth Hoffmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16770840174293503835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-12457413685561360862010-05-20T14:05:21.541-04:002010-05-20T14:05:21.541-04:00Looking forward to reading more!Looking forward to reading more!Pamela Ferdinandhttp://www.pamelaferdinand.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50006742019692588972010-05-20T12:48:31.234-04:002010-05-20T12:48:31.234-04:00Wow, that really sounds great! I think I'd buy...Wow, that really sounds great! I think I'd buy the book if I'd read that storyline on a book cover!Got me hooked and I sure hope there'll be more to read in the future!!!nic 72noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52126923649325834402010-05-20T10:51:27.335-04:002010-05-20T10:51:27.335-04:00OOOhh...well, my interest is piqued. I like the v...OOOhh...well, my interest is piqued. I like the voice of the character...straight forward, no nonsense. She's a girl that knows what she wants and tells it like it is...when she remembers what that is (LOL). It sounds to me that this story has the potential to not only explore the paranormal, how-did-I-get-here aspect of what we see, but also opportunities for humor and snarky rebutals. I'd be curious to read more!Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01067420839553243250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77887345988647310242010-05-20T10:47:55.173-04:002010-05-20T10:47:55.173-04:00Sounds interesting...would love to read and review...Sounds interesting...would love to read and review! <br /><br />Thanks, <br />CourtneyStiletto Storytimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15183872558981634691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-28322106417185395912010-05-20T07:24:56.150-04:002010-05-20T07:24:56.150-04:00I think it is a really exciting story and I truly ...I think it is a really exciting story and I truly want to read more about Faith.Bellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-65107635949334721042010-05-20T00:37:32.730-04:002010-05-20T00:37:32.730-04:00I like the voice and the set up is intriguing, tho...I like the voice and the set up is intriguing, though I thought there was a bit too much info and backstory in the middle paragraphs--if you could spread it out just a tiny bit more, I think it will be an excellent opening page. I'd keep reading!Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-55355164219528906812010-05-19T18:35:02.583-04:002010-05-19T18:35:02.583-04:00I am intrigued and I want to read more! The title ...I am intrigued and I want to read more! The title and first sentence drew me in. Definately would buy this book!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22459358749050521632010-05-19T18:28:17.153-04:002010-05-19T18:28:17.153-04:00I can't wait for you to get published! I love ...I can't wait for you to get published! I love your work, and think your manuscripts are awesome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32828044857049510852010-05-19T18:25:45.046-04:002010-05-19T18:25:45.046-04:00I'm really hoping you get published because yo...I'm really hoping you get published because your manuscripts are amazing!!!!!!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82417196533382578282010-05-19T17:40:08.008-04:002010-05-19T17:40:08.008-04:00Love the title! The first sentence is great, too. ...Love the title! The first sentence is great, too. But the "strange things" aren't really strange at all. I like the story and would keep reading.Kelly Hashwayhttp://www.kellyhashway.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-89454853361718814842010-05-19T17:37:08.830-04:002010-05-19T17:37:08.830-04:00I love the voice - great work. And the brain surge...I love the voice - great work. And the brain surgery coupled with paranormal genre sounds very intriguing.Bronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13029635239132926178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36200746006792096502010-05-19T17:23:42.750-04:002010-05-19T17:23:42.750-04:00Oh I love the style of the writing and how the cha...Oh I love the style of the writing and how the character is not disturbed by the MRI or the brain surgery. Very gripping from the start, so I'd love to read on!Liliannoreply@blogger.com