tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8916666265807860491..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: 43 Query ContestAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14376871851906237482009-08-03T00:32:51.821-04:002009-08-03T00:32:51.821-04:00This query is well-written and easy to follow, and...This query is well-written and easy to follow, and the pages are just as nice. <br /><br />I'd read more of this. Just watch the typos and make sure you ground the reader into the tavern/inn setting immediately with tastes and smells. A setting like that has oodles of potential. Use it all.Jodi Meadowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11796496740054225283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22365056876306405802009-07-30T15:54:13.553-04:002009-07-30T15:54:13.553-04:00I liked your query. I'm hooked, but would lik...I liked your query. I'm hooked, but would like to see a bit more backbone in your character in the synopsis.<br /><br />250--liked. could be tighter, but I liked it!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16378022221964553484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-17596846928264924452009-07-30T10:07:56.873-04:002009-07-30T10:07:56.873-04:00I thought both the query and excerpt were good. I...I thought both the query and excerpt were good. I'd request more.Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09609095934716513347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-64811369673191371192009-07-30T06:22:41.478-04:002009-07-30T06:22:41.478-04:00I'm hooked. I really got a feel for your voice...I'm hooked. I really got a feel for your voice in the query. The first page was pretty good and I'd probably request to see more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90459208988849684252009-07-29T19:17:12.298-04:002009-07-29T19:17:12.298-04:00Loved the query. The opening sentence was fabulous...Loved the query. The opening sentence was fabulous. Left me curious right then and there. <br /><br />I enjoyed the writing as well. Good luck!Shawntelle Madisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14354674485904395514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61642649066085063392009-07-29T18:15:40.820-04:002009-07-29T18:15:40.820-04:00I like the tone of the query. Towards the end of t...I like the tone of the query. Towards the end of the blurb, I was getting a little shell shocked as there was a mish mash of elements - not any one element standing out as the main premise or hook -- but I get that it's a zany fantasy adventure. The sort of book I used to enjoy from someone like Robert Asprin or Piers Anthony.<br /><br />The opening page was well-written. I wanted a little bit more to elevate it. There's a cheeky barmaid and the usual motley crew you see in a traditional fantasy tavern. In this sort of opening, you need to have your characters stand out immediately. I'd read more, but would really be lookiing for something to make this opening as special as the query sounded.<br /><br />Also with a length of 100,000 words, I'd expect an epic storyline to warrant the length. The query sounds more like a series of adventures. Total nitpick, I know! <br /><br />Good job overall.Jeannie Linhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12714068387571203896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-80269719106553928222009-07-29T17:09:21.402-04:002009-07-29T17:09:21.402-04:00I was hooked well enough to read the sample page, ...I was hooked well enough to read the sample page, which was good. The only problem I had with the query, though, is the beginning of it felt like it was ya since it refers to Arden as a 'girl'. Maybe try 'as much as any woman'?<br /><br />That's just a nitpick, though. Your idea sounds good, and it looks like you have the writing skills to back it up.brimfirehttp://brimfire.livejournal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76267115072754838092009-07-29T17:03:23.519-04:002009-07-29T17:03:23.519-04:00The opening sentences in both the query and partia...The opening sentences in both the query and partial hooked me. I like the voice in both, too. There are a few typos that need attention but I would be interested in reading more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40532330051881553032009-07-29T16:06:46.422-04:002009-07-29T16:06:46.422-04:00100% hooked. Love your voice, love the storyline, ...100% hooked. Love your voice, love the storyline, love the sample writingSilver Fingersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88271339668878604082009-07-29T16:03:03.032-04:002009-07-29T16:03:03.032-04:00This query hooked me immediately: I love the premi...This query hooked me immediately: I love the premise, and the problems you introduce sound like this novel will be a blast. <br /><br />My only comment on your first 250 words is that I thought that the heroine would have identified the crazy guy as a foreigner from his coloring immediately, rather than after noticing all those other things about him.Daria Drakenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71696418294382111292009-07-29T15:28:47.934-04:002009-07-29T15:28:47.934-04:00Query: Good hook sentence.
One typo: "A pri...Query: Good hook sentence. <br /><br />One typo: "A prince trying to seduce HER..."<br /><br />Regardless, I'm hooked!<br /><br />Sample: Still hooked :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11431700962951592287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-8197364155202982982009-07-29T15:19:59.039-04:002009-07-29T15:19:59.039-04:00Query: I like the premise. Hooked.
Snippet: Still...Query: I like the premise. Hooked.<br /><br />Snippet: Still hooked.Cate Kariaxihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01812494549402252779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6270894514218421292009-07-29T12:58:07.242-04:002009-07-29T12:58:07.242-04:00Hooked. Good job!Hooked. Good job!Courtney Abruzzohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09863947983523888169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21728073678592580962009-07-29T12:24:59.719-04:002009-07-29T12:24:59.719-04:00Hooked.
This sounds fun and I like the way the vo...Hooked. <br />This sounds fun and I like the way the voice in the query reflects the voice of the story. You kept the query concise and the first 250 words put us right into the action that starts the story. Really enjoyed this!Alyssa Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05619379952262450970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-44708897095805279182009-07-29T12:21:33.323-04:002009-07-29T12:21:33.323-04:00yes. i liked this. i was hooked. i want to read...yes. i liked this. i was hooked. i want to read more! :Dewoklovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08115603537616212149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61585196227507431922009-07-29T11:32:58.711-04:002009-07-29T11:32:58.711-04:00I liked the query. Direct and to the point. Hook...I liked the query. Direct and to the point. Hooked.<br /><br />The sample was good. It's not something I'd normally read, but it flows really well. I'd definitely want to read more.The Generalissimahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16332991917944429187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77433374637619738322009-07-29T10:14:27.451-04:002009-07-29T10:14:27.451-04:00Good hook :)
I enjoyed both your query and the sa...Good hook :)<br /><br />I enjoyed both your query and the sample. I would keep reading. I do think there are places where you could tighten up your writing to make it even stronger, but you've got a fun sounding story with an interesting mc. Good jobJust Menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-43282957859531886452009-07-29T09:54:06.328-04:002009-07-29T09:54:06.328-04:00This query was good, and I would definitely reques...This query was good, and I would definitely request a prtial off of it and the first few pages. This sounds really good.Justina!https://www.blogger.com/profile/16961822442399135939noreply@blogger.com