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Thursday, March 25, 2010

11 Women's Fiction

TITLE: Hope's Child
GENRE: Women's Fiction


“So that’s it?” Hope Penderman glared at her husband. “You’re just going to pick up your briefcase and walk out the door.”

16 comments:

  1. I would have thought that her second sentence would also be a question.

    I'd like to start somewhere besides a meltdown. Not hooked.

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  2. This doesn't grab me and leave me looking for more since there's nothing "surprising". WF isn't really my genre though. *shrug*

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  3. Makes me think he's going to leave her...but he should pack more than a briefcase. Maybe he's just going to work?

    Kinda hooked.

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  4. Not hooked. Start with something extraordinary to make the reader want more. Does she drop a plate of pancakes? Throw her brush at him? Are they somewhere interesting? Show us.

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  5. It's nice to be connected to your characters before things get messy. I'd read on a few paragraphs. Not hooked by opener.

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  6. Not hooked. The scene feels too generic, for me, anyways.

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  7. I like it, but I'm not instantly hooked

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  8. One random thing I was thinking about is how most guys don't carry briefcases. They carry computer bags which double as the briefcases of old. :)

    There is nothing wrong with this. I'm not entirely hooked, but I would read the rest of the first before I said yes or no.

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  9. Don't see a lot of emotion in this. Not hooked.

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  10. Nothing tripped me up. But nothing grabbed me either. Not hooked. Sorry.

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  11. Hard to say. In all honesty, I'm not interested, but it's because I have no interest in this genre.

    But you do create a bit of mystery here. Why is he walking out? He's probably not leaving her since he's only taking a briefcase. It does make me wonder what might be going on. If it was a genre I read, I might read on.

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  12. Is Hope stating he's walking out the door? Or asking? I might read a bit more to figure out what she means by "that's it".

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  13. Sorry, not hooked.
    I like the title though! ㋡

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  14. I'm curious. Maybe not completely sold, but I'd read on to see what's going on.

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  15. Not really hooked, sorry. Might be a genre thing.

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