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Thursday, March 25, 2010

11 Women's Fiction

TITLE: Hope's Child
GENRE: Women's Fiction


“So that’s it?” Hope Penderman glared at her husband. “You’re just going to pick up your briefcase and walk out the door.”
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16 comments:

  1. WalterMarch 25, 2010 at 9:16 AM

    I would have thought that her second sentence would also be a question.

    I'd like to start somewhere besides a meltdown. Not hooked.

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  2. SelestialMarch 25, 2010 at 9:29 AM

    This doesn't grab me and leave me looking for more since there's nothing "surprising". WF isn't really my genre though. *shrug*

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  3. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    Makes me think he's going to leave her...but he should pack more than a briefcase. Maybe he's just going to work?

    Kinda hooked.

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  4. Amy Sue NathanMarch 25, 2010 at 9:35 AM

    Not hooked. Start with something extraordinary to make the reader want more. Does she drop a plate of pancakes? Throw her brush at him? Are they somewhere interesting? Show us.

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  5. Barbara WeitzMarch 25, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    It's nice to be connected to your characters before things get messy. I'd read on a few paragraphs. Not hooked by opener.

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  6. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 9:43 AM

    Not hooked. The scene feels too generic, for me, anyways.

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  7. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    I like it, but I'm not instantly hooked

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  8. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    One random thing I was thinking about is how most guys don't carry briefcases. They carry computer bags which double as the briefcases of old. :)

    There is nothing wrong with this. I'm not entirely hooked, but I would read the rest of the first before I said yes or no.

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  9. MomwomanMarch 25, 2010 at 10:13 AM

    Don't see a lot of emotion in this. Not hooked.

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  10. Deb SmytheMarch 25, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Nothing tripped me up. But nothing grabbed me either. Not hooked. Sorry.

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  11. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    Hard to say. In all honesty, I'm not interested, but it's because I have no interest in this genre.

    But you do create a bit of mystery here. Why is he walking out? He's probably not leaving her since he's only taking a briefcase. It does make me wonder what might be going on. If it was a genre I read, I might read on.

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  12. Jessica L. Brooks (coffeelvnmom)March 25, 2010 at 12:28 PM

    Is Hope stating he's walking out the door? Or asking? I might read a bit more to figure out what she means by "that's it".

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  13. Ash. ElizabethMarch 25, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    a little hooked.

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  14. samsevernMarch 25, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    Sorry, not hooked.
    I like the title though! ㋡

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  15. ValerieMarch 25, 2010 at 4:14 PM

    I'm curious. Maybe not completely sold, but I'd read on to see what's going on.

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  16. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 10:24 PM

    Not really hooked, sorry. Might be a genre thing.

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