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Thursday, March 25, 2010

157 YA SF

TITLE: The 7 Inch Wonders Of The World
GENRE: YA Sci-Fi


Hi humans.

My last owner, the late Candy Buddah of the Child Extermination Camps, has programmed me to tell you a story.

17 comments:

  1. Not hooked. Just get to the story.

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  2. You lost me at Child Extermination.

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  3. Dark, very dark... I'd probably go a bit further.

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  4. Not really hooked. I think you could probably find a slightly better opening. The "Hi humans" in particular threw me.

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  5. The implication of a dead child (let alone Child Extermination camps) makes this one probably not something I think I'd keep reading. also "Hi Humans" is jarring.

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  6. I'm a sucker for anything that sets up a bunch of questions at the beginning. But are you missing a comma in "Hi, humans" ?

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  7. This sounds more like MG to me. I would read a little more to see where this is going.

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  8. I agree with Stina. Get to the story. This beginning seemed a little hokey, imho.

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  9. I love this! I'd keep reading for sure. I want to know what the narrator is, I want to know about the CECs are, etc. I love the fact that an agent of the CEC is named Candy. LULZ.

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  10. Not hooked. I don't want the narrator starting out TELLING me it's going to tell me a story... I would rather just get on with the story.

    (The darkness didn't bother me, though. The 'let me tell you a story' opening did.)

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  11. I agree - I'd prefer to get straight into the story.

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  12. I am totally hooked and I know my young students would be as well. I am curious to see where the rest of the story goes because I imagine this can either be really great or . . .

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  13. Ooh.. A bit too grim for me.

    'Hi humans' in the same breath as Child extermination camps is a big ask.

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  14. I'd probably give you more time, because there's obviously got a story here. But you haven't got me yet.

    'Hi' seems like the wrong salutation.

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