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Thursday, March 25, 2010

19 YA Paranormal Romance

TITLE: Again
GENRE: Young Adult Paranormal Romance


I used to laugh at my friend Becca when she spoke about the Universe. She truly expects that exerting positive energy will get her anything.

18 comments:

  1. The two verb tenses so close together is a bit unsettling. Sorry, not hooked.

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  2. I'm hooked...but I would replace expects with believes just to help the fluidity because you have two words with the prefix, "ex"..

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  3. Not hooked. The verb tense mixing worries me and I'm more interested in Becca than I am in the person who laughed at her.

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  4. I might be more hooked if the tenses matched.

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  5. Same problem with the tense.

    I'd read a few more lines to see if "positive energy" came into play sooner rather than much later, if at all.

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  6. Same tense issues as mentioned before. If that was fixed, I might be curious enough to read on, but as it stands now, not hooked.

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  7. First sentecne hooked me, second made my back off. Not well contructed. I'd read 1 more.

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  8. Not awful, but it doesn't hook me

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  9. Blegh. I'm kinda bored already. No urgency. I need more kick.

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  10. I don't think I'd read more. It's too passive. I'd like to see something happen. The first sentence is fine but I want to know what changed, not have it elaborated on.

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  11. "used to laugh" makes me think the narrator's changed her mind. But the next sentence makes it sound like she hasn't.

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  12. Nothing grabs me, and I personally hate it when the narrator talks to me. I want story, not monologue.

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  13. nothing really held my attention. it's a toss up.

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  14. I'm intrigued and like the voice. I'd keep going.

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  15. The tenses threw me, but I'm not hooked, sorry.

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