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Thursday, March 25, 2010

49 Suspense

TITLE: Going Home

GENRE: Suspense

On the night my father killed my mother, the frost choked the buds of my grandmother's roses. I remember this, the perfect petals curled in

24 comments:

  1. Yes, I would read on. I think that first sentence is great.

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  2. Beautifully written. Hooked.

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  3. Excellent mental picture. Hooked

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  4. hooked enough to definitely keep reading.

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  5. Love the first sentence. I'd keep reading.

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  6. I love the killing of mother followed by choking buds - I'd keep reading. :-)

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  7. I don't know. I wasn't hooked. If it was literary fiction, I think I'd buy the imagery, but for a suspense novel, I can't imagine that this would be what the MC remembers, as opposed to the murder itself or what led up to it.

    But you've hooked everyone else, so that says you have something here.

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  8. I love this. The imagery and your word choice both hooked me.

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  9. Sorry, not hooked. There's something inconsistent about it. It doesn't ring true for me. Perhaps I can't imagine a protagonist focusing on frost and perfect petals. Fortunately, I'm not a majority opinion.

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  10. Three generations in one sentence. Great. I'd read more.

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  11. Intrigued, but not really hooked. The dad killing the mom is a good hook, but then it slows down with the roses. I might give it a couple more sentences, but I'd need something more soon.

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  12. i'm one of the odd ones out too

    perhaps build a suspenseful picture by opening with the flowers if they're important to the story and leading into that it was the night mother died

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