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Thursday, March 25, 2010

77 Thriller

TITLE: An Obscure Homicide
GENRE: Thriller


Once you were in the mood, killing was easy and fun. Not to mention exciting. You squeeze the trigger. The recoil throws you backward.

31 comments:

  1. I may not be totally hooked, but I'm nibbling. I'd read on. I'm a bit put off by the first sentence, though..."in the mood for killing" doesn't exactly endear the narrator.

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  2. I would continue reading this.

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  3. Maybe. I don't like the second person. I don't really like being put into a murderer's shoes.

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  4. I have a feeling the next few sentences would justify your opening here, but as it stands, I'm not sure. I think you could possibly make the voice a bit stronger here, the word choice seems fairly generic. If you are going to want people to like a character who likes killing, there has to be something more to keep going.

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  5. recoil from a gun is not fun and does not have to happen if you know how to use one...not hooked because you didn't do your research..

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  6. well this was the first one that made me click the comments so I think that means it is a hook!

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  7. I like it. Sounds like my sort of dark material.

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  8. Probably not my thing.

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  9. ack. (continued from above) It's also not a good thing when I find myself actively disagreeing with what's being stated.

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  10. I also don't like the 2nd person, but I think I'd be interested if it was 1st person POV

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  11. Is this the MC's POV? It's a tough spot to open with an unlikeable character--unless in the next line you give us a reason to see why he's really the hero. This is provocative, so I'd probably read another line or two to see if I could find anything to like about the character.

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  12. Sorry, not hooked. This kinda POV seems too ordinary to me. Somebody who enjoys killing — seen that movie, read that book before. At only 25 words it needs something weirder to suck me in! ㋡

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  13. I don't want to be a murderer! Why are you saying you?

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  14. Yikes! I don't read thrillers, but this sure caught my attention and kept me reading. Hooked. I liked it!

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  15. Hooked. (Methinks you have a very tough audience here who is overanalyzing.)

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  16. I would read more to get the flavor, but at this point I would also be a little skeptical of the voice. It doesn't feel tough or competent enough yet, but we also don't know the context or the actual character.

    If this were leading to something that contrasts with what we think the opening sentence is about, I would be interested, but if this turns out to be what it seems, it doesn't do the job.

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  17. Hooked, but hoping the rest isn't in second person. What if the character isn't talking about killing humans?

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  18. Not hooked. I don't mind reading about serial killers or homicidal maniacs because they usually have a reason for doing what they do, even if it's a reason I don't get. But someone who kills for fun? Nah. Not for me.

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  19. Partially hooked, but somewhat because I'm wondering what kind of weapon has recoil that actually throws someone backwards.

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  20. Gets right into imagery of action, a well-crafted. If this was my genre I'd probably read a bit more, but the first sentence didn't offer me anything new either.

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  21. Cool and creepy at the same time. My reaction was "Oooo!" :D

    I'd definitely read on

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  22. I would read a bit more, but I don't like the second person. It makes me feel like I'm reading one of those choose your own adventure books.

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  23. Grossed out. I wouldn't read a novel from the murderers POV.

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  24. I don't like it... I agree with Cat.. There is nothing glamorous.. exciting or anything else about murder.

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  25. Lisa Gardner often starts her novels from the killer's perspective and then switches. Don't see that as a problem. "Not to mention" troubles me. So does the mixture of tenses. It would be stronger and in sync with "Once you're in the mood, killing is...."

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  26. I don't mind the murderer's POV as I like mystery, thrillers and crime fiction. However, the second person POV threw me off.

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  27. The first few sentences were a bit redundant (for me if you cut "and fun" it would read stronger), but I liked the voice, so I'd probably read a little more.

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  28. Didn't like the last line. I felt it jarred with the rest.

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  29. recoil isn't fun and doesn't fit with the "easy and fun" just used

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