there's a lot of YA out there with MCs who can see someone's death before it happens. Take Bloomsbury's recent release Mark ( or The Mark...Something like that).
Yet, despite this fact, I'm hooked. It's the voice that does it for me. Hopefully the rest of the novel is as strong as this opener.
definitely hooked! "react later" already had me curious, foreshadowing something interesting to come. "when he was drowning" was really unexpected and pulled me in fast
I would definitely read on. This is a small thing, but somehow (for me), this would read stronger if the a was changed to a comma. Maybe because it would be a lighter touch.
I think I remember this from a secret agent contest. I like this first line. I'd keep reading.
ReplyDeleteCreepy. I like it.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Would read on. :)
ReplyDeleteDidn't like the use of the word 'guy' here. Could possibly be more appealing for the YA audience. They could be hooked, but not me.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd keep reading. I want to know how they go from inside to drowning and how she knows... foresight?
ReplyDeleteI am so tired of angry, hostile, killing in YA adults...not hooked
ReplyDeleteI want more - now. Like where can I find this on a shelf.
ReplyDeleteI remember this. I also think 'guy' should be 'man.'
ReplyDeleteI also don't like "guy", but otherwise I like it
ReplyDeleteThis interests me. I wonder if Jocelyn is some sort of supernatural aquatic creature. I'd keep reading.
ReplyDelete(I do agree that "guy" sounds a little odd here. I don't read much YA, but this makes the tone seem more like an adult book.)
I'm curious enough to keep reading. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI'm hooked. It starts casual and then, wait, WHO is Jocelyn? And why will he drown?
ReplyDeleteHooked. I remember this from Secret Agent and I still like it. I want to read more.
ReplyDeleteHooked. I'd definitely read more.
ReplyDeleteHooked! I'd keep reading, for sure.
ReplyDeleteHooked! I hear young adults using the word "guy" all the time referring to males, so the term seems appropriate here, unless Jocelyn is over 60.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely hooked.
ReplyDeleteThe opening verb ("stared") feels a bit cliche, but the "drowning" bit makes me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteHooked. But I agree with the guy comment. It threw me off. Nice tension in an opening line.
ReplyDeleteHooked!
ReplyDeletethere's a lot of YA out there with MCs who can see someone's death before it happens. Take Bloomsbury's recent release Mark ( or The Mark...Something like that).
ReplyDeleteYet, despite this fact, I'm hooked. It's the voice that does it for me. Hopefully the rest of the novel is as strong as this opener.
Moderately hooked. I'd keep reading for a little while (couple pages to a chapter) to see if the book would really interest me.
ReplyDeleteI would keep reading. I like the YA voice.
ReplyDeleteI would keep going!
ReplyDeleteHuh. /intrigued
ReplyDeleteHooked. I'm curious to know what the book's about now!
ReplyDeleteI also remember this from a SA contest. I still like it. Hooked.
ReplyDeletedefinitely hooked! "react later" already had me curious, foreshadowing something interesting to come. "when he was drowning" was really unexpected and pulled me in fast
ReplyDeleteI would definitely read on. This is a small thing, but somehow (for me), this would read stronger if the a was changed to a comma. Maybe because it would be a lighter touch.
ReplyDeleteSorry - meant to say if the "DASH" was changed to a comma.
ReplyDeleteI love the nonchalance with which she envisions a murder. I'd definitely read on.
ReplyDeleteNice and creepy. I'd read more.
ReplyDeleteAt first I was thinking there was no way this could hook me, then you threw in drowning. I'm in for a page at least.
ReplyDeleteForeshadowing some premonitionary ability perhaps?
ReplyDeleteInteresting hook