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Friday, July 1, 2011

Friday Fricassee

I think I'm in denial that it's actually July already.

So I'm feeling all clever today (well, not really, but I'm trying).  As such, I've got an analogy that will hopefully offer you a bit of encouragement along the bumpy way.

PART ONE: A story from Authoress's childhood:

One summer morning when I was 10 or 11 or 12, I joined a pick-up game of baseball with a group of neighborhood friends at the playground.  Our diamond was an overgrown field with makeshift bases made out of tee-shirts and such.  And, yeah, I was totally out of my element.  Me, the quintessentially non-athletic, artsy girl.  Right?

Yet--wonder of wonders--I hit a single! I made it to first, exulting in my success and tensing to run to second if the next batter made a hit.  And she did!  I took off toward the second baseman, because I couldn't see second base in the tall grass.  I slowed, looking frantically for the wadded-up shirt.  It was nowhere.

Desperate, I called out to the second baseman, "Where's second?"

He didn't answer.  Well, why would he?  He was on the other team.  So I stood there, mortified.  Idiot of the century. Artsy girl, failing at baseball in front of everyone.

Then I ran home.  Didn't look at anyone, didn't say anything.  Just took off as fast as I could go.

I quit.  And I still feel the shame.

PART TWO: A story from Authoress's recent vacation:

My vacation was awesome, but I experienced a sprinkling of Really Dumb or Mildly Upsetting things that might've derailed my joy, if I allowed them:

  • DUMB THING:  I forgot to pack my bathing suits.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Here I am, preparing for a week at the shore, and I remember every last detail EXCEPT my bathing suits.  You can imagine the severe stomach droppage when I realized, while getting ready to change for the beach, that the suits weren't there. And that I had no memory of having packed them.  Needless to say, it was a terrible start to my week at the beach.
  • MILDLY UPSETTING THING:  I lost one of my favorite necklaces, which was a birthday gift from Mr. A.  Didn't even realize it had slipped off my neck until I was ready to take my shower that night. It could've fallen off ANYWHERE.  And it was a unique necklace, made by a local artisan.  Gone forever, somewhere in my favorite beach town.
  • DUMB THING:  My nose got sunburned because I forgot to put lotion on it. And I fretted over it for days, until it finally faded. Because who wants to go to New York to meet her agent with a PRACTICALLY MAGENTA and PERPETUALLY MOLTING nose?
  • MILDLY UPSETTING THING: I lost my sunglasses.  Which isn't upsetting anymore, because I bought myself a new pair yesterday, and I like them better.
  • DUMB THING: When Mr. A went to get the car and bring it to the apartment so we could pack up and leave on the last morning, the battery was dead. Because we'd accidentally left a light on inside the car. And we had no jumper cables. And it was seven in the morning and, well, who the heck is awake in a beach town at seven in the morning, except kitchen staff and the occasional, odd writer who likes to be on the beach at 6:30 to plot? (Who, me?) And we had to be out of the apartment by ten. In the end, we had to pay $68 for someone to come jump it for us. Like we really had $68 lying around after a week at the shore.
None of these are earthshattering, right? But an accumulation of not-earthshattering-but-not-happy-either things on vacation could, in fact, derail the vacation. Turn it into a "meh" memory instead of an awesome one.

Here comes the analogy:

All sorts of REALLY DUMB and MILDLY UPSETTING things happen while we are journeying along toward publication.  No one outside the industry understands WHY these things could derail us, but our fellow writers understand.  And shudder.
  • DUMB THING: We misspell an agent's name wrong in a query email--and hit send.
  • MILDLY UPSETTING THING: We receive a rejection on a partial from one of our Top Three Favorite Agents. On the same day our husband gets laid off.
  • DUMB THING: We receive the in-line notes on our WIP from our favorite crit partner, only to discover we've sent her the wrong draft.  An earlier, sloppier one. That should have been burned.
  • MILDLY UPSETTING THING: Our best writing buddy lands an agent and a book deal in rapid succession while we're still slogging through query hell.
  • DUMB THING: We accidentally re-query an agent who has already rejected us, and the response is somewhat snarky (yeah, it happens).
  • MILDLY UPSETTING THING: Our family gives us a hard time when, during the holidays, we just need a few hours to curl up somewhere, ALONE, and write. We feel perpetually misunderstood.
  • DUMB THING: We don't put enough postage on a requested, hard copy full (which, yanno, agents shouldn't be asking for anymore, anyway...right?).
  • MILDLY UPSETTING THING: We get interest in our novel from an editor at a good house, and it dies in committee.
I could go on ad nauseam.  But you already know the point I'm making: There are SO MANY THINGS that could derail us. I've been nearly derailed countless times.  My response is always a silent, "I will quit and not tell anyone."  That's exactly where I was when Josh was reading my full last August, and I was certain it would be another no-thank-you.  And as I lay on the floor staring at the ceiling (I do things like that), planning my quiet quitting, something different happened instead. I started planning my next novel.

"Press on" can begin to sound hollow, but you've got to do it if you want to succeed. Through all the dumb things and mildly upsetting things and even the occasional REALLY upsetting thing, you HAVE TO KEEP WRITING. Keep learning. Keep trying. Keep getting back on your feet. Keep BELIEVING.

You know I'm right.  I know I'm right.  So let's collectively stop whining or fretting or grumbling or despairing or quietly-planning-quittage, regardless of where we are along the way.  Because GOOD THINGS HAPPEN when we keep going.

Not being able to find second base was a DUMB THING. But I allowed it to become a crisis, and ran away instead of demanding the location of second base (I mean, you're supposed to be able to see the bases, right?).

Forgetting my bathing suits was a DUMB THING. But I didn't run away from the beach.  I ended up with a bathing suit AND a tan (which is fading, because who has time to sunbathe after three weeks away? I mean, the DUST in my house took on a life of its own while I was gone!).

And this writing thing? I'm in it for life, baby.  How about you?

21 comments:

  1. I refer you to MY latest post. *grin*

    Also,some day remind me to tell you about the fateful NO/NY trip my Senior Year. You will giggle.

    ames

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  2. Dumb things are my speciality. I never let them get in the way of anything any more. Mildly upsetting things are more difficult to shrug off. I take things to heart that I should just let go. Still, I keep writing, so there's that :)

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  3. Solid advice all around. I'm glad you got a new swimming suit, that's the worst feeling. I once went on vacation to a beach and forgot my contact lenses. That was a sad day.

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  4. This was really helpful today. Thanks for the reminder. Press on!

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  5. Thanks for the post--I really liked it. A good pickup when I'm being flooded with rejections. :D

    Just keep swimming.

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  6. You made me laugh. You made me cry. Ahhh, the life of a writer. Thanks for sharing! I'm now going to press on and not quit -- just yet. And if I do quit, it will also be quietly in the dark recesses of my mind, where I know I will not listen.

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  7. Great post. I was going to quit in January, then I had my first sale -- a little one, but a sale -- in February. Then I was going to quit in April, but I won a contest. Guess I'll just keep on keepin' on. Thanks for the inspiration.

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  8. Aww, this was so sweet. Thanks for reminding us that life is full of annoying/upsetting things. They happen to everyone. We just have to get past them and soldier on. :-)

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  9. Thanks for this. It's just what I needed to hear. I've learned so much since I started this journey.

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  10. Ah, Authoress, I love Saturday mornings (for that's when I usually get your Friday Fricassee). You make me laugh, grimace and nod in a single sitting. Keep them coming!
    Yes, the road is rocky but that just makes it more interesting. :)

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  11. I so, SO get you on the baseball. I don't know if I would've run home (because in mind, that would've been even more embarassing...other guys would've never let me live it down), but I absolutely would've wanted to. (I probably wouldn't just gotten out then pouted the rest of the game, or made some excuse to quit early).

    And it's nice to hear you were expecting yet another no from Josh. That's the place I'm in, and I need to hear over and over: (A) love a new book and (B) sometimes the best agent says yes even after everyone else says no.

    So, yay! Thank you.

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  12. What a fantastic post. I've had a few of those dumb things happen recently. Like the query sent to an agent I know only wants the query. I only included the query. But for some reason stated I pasted pages below. Which I didn't, because she only wants the query, right? Dumb, and mildly upsetting. But certainly not the end of the world.

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  13. The lovely mistakes along the way - our learning curve, right?
    Bet you won't forget those bathers again! hehe
    Welcome back! : )

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  14. Sounds like a bad holiday, Authoress, especially losing the necklace. I once lost the stone out of an anniversary ring. I was so upset, though my husband replaced it.

    Another dumb thing I did, was using the surname of a local business couple, (who I happen to like), for the name of a mean headmistress in one of my children's stories.

    Before publishing that book, I meant to change the name to something else as I was hoping to sell it in my area, plus donate it to local libraries and schools. Ooops, I guess I forgot.

    Recently, I was sitting in my favourite coffee shop, where they happen to sell my books. A woman came in and picked one up, and as she browsed though the pages, she chuckled and said what how funny it was.

    Unaware I was the author, she smiled at me and said she had to buy it for her children because her husband was a member of 'that family' and he'd get a laugh.

    After she bought it, she sat at the table next to me and started chatting about the name in the book. I admitted to being the author and said I'd meant to change it, but had forgotten. She laughed and said not to worry because the family had a great sense of humour.

    Well, I do worry because she also told me they're an enormous family of five generations, and all living in the surrounding suburbs, including school children.

    Yipes, that book is starting to take off, plus it's in all the local libraries and schools. Though it's a fantastic name for the headmistress of a school where two naughty kids eat bubblegum they collect from the pavement, I should have changed the name, or moved to another town. LOL.

    Serves me right for being scatty.

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  15. Thanks, I keep telling myself these things, but I need to keep hearing it too!

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  16. Glorious advice. Your baseball story made me smile, though I'm sure at the time smiling was the last thing you wanted to do.

    I'm no stranger to the "this will never happen so I should just quit" feeling, but I've thankfully had the support of many, and so I've realized I'd be failing myself if I didn't push on. I truly believe if we want it enough, it'll happen. Plain and simple.

    Thank you for the good kick to keep on going!

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  17. Thank you, Authoress. This is exactly what I needed to read today. :)

    I misspelled an agent's name when I sent her my full. Uggh. Horrible moment of realization. Then I probably went and made it worse by apologizing for it. She didn't send an instant-rejection, though, so I guess that's encouraging. :)

    Amy

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  18. Sometimes I wish I could REALLY hug some of you. A lot of you.

    ***hugs***

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  19. Well, imagine if it were football and you were in the endzone and your team has 20 points, and your opposing team has 21.

    You are nearly wide open, and the quarterback throws a perfect pass straight to you. But then the defense blocks it and intercepts it just as you are about to catch it, and your team loses by 1 point. And the coach is upset with you, and your fans boo you. How'd you feel then?

    But be glad that never happened. Besides, it's mostly the boys that play football. LOL.

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  20. Thanks for the pep talk! I certainly needed it. :)

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  21. Great post. We always can be reminded that the important thing is to keep on keeping on. Glad you got a new swim suit and new sunglasses from what sounds like a vacation to remember.

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