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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Logline Critique Round Three #6

TITLE: Pursuit of Craze
GENRE: Romantic Thriller

To save her rock star boyfriend, Allie must destroy the seven deadly sinners threatening his life. Sex, drugs, shocks and poles-- she’ll do whatever it takes, and she'll do it all without chipping her new manicure.

6 comments:

  1. Allie seems like a strong MC, until the manicure comment. Is that really necessary in the logline?

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  2. I agree about the manicure -- it's a little cute for a logline to me.

    Why does it fall to her to save him?

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  3. It would help to know what she is saving him from and why she has to save him NOW. Does something tip him over the edge when the story starts? Also, you mention destroying seven deadly sinners, but I'm not sure if these are people or things. Without knowing this, we don't have a clear picture of the obstacles.

    I like the thing about the manicure. It adds just a touch of voice (plus kickass heroines are allowed to look good! :-))

    Good luck!
    Holly

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  4. I'm unclear on who is doing what. Is Allie using "sex, drugs, shocks and poles" to literally destroy the seven sinners? Who are these seven sinners? I think making it clearer who she's going after would help.

    Good luck!

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  5. This sounds like spunky fun read. A feminine hero down to her pretty painted finger nails! "seven deadly sinners," I immediately think of the 1995 film, "Seven" with Brad Pitt.Be specific with who these seven are. And what will happen to Allie, and/or the world, if she fails?
    Write on!

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  6. I definitely agree about keeping the manicure line. It's helpful to know a bit about the MC's personality!

    Good luck!

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