Pages

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Pitch for the Win #31 - MG Fantasy

TITLE: Hope of Glimmer
GENRE: MG Fantasy

On a quest to rekindle the sun by finding and returning the One SunDrop to the sky, Hope Gander of Glimmer is challenged to test the strength of her own power to dream and her belief in herself, her family, and her friends. Mutated creatures, dead and dying villages, a terrible IceMarsh, leaders determined to maintain their power at all costs, and the wrath of an evil entity are huge obstacles along the way.

6 comments:

  1. I love the idea of rekindling the sun. This in itself should warrant a story in space. However, it seems like most of the action is on the ground. I'm intrigued by the sundrop. If it is on earth, a sundrop might burn everything around so the idea brings about a lot of questions. I'm not sure the obstacles make sense, but the idea of someone looking for a sundrop is appealing and I wonder what this world looks like without a star to warm it up. Is it plunged in darkness and ice? Are dreams playing a role?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lots of details, but not really a pitch. What is the heartline that makes me care? I've too many grandchildren, Glimmer, makes me think TV series for young children. This is more a miniature plot synopsis rather than pitch.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The premise is interesting, but only indicated in the first line. The rest of the pitch is two lists. Rekindling the sun is fascinating! By rearranging a bit this becomes:

    Hope Gander must return the One SunDrop to the sky to rekindle the sun before (put what happens if she doesn’t. Will the world be covered in darkness forever?) OR She must travel through dying villages filled with mutated creatures and battle a terrible IceMarsh to reach the One SunDrop before (stakes)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is an interesting pitch, but I'm not sure what the stakes are. Hope must rekindle the sun (I actually don't know what that means lol), but what will happen if she fails? You give a long list of things that will happen (dying villages, mutilated creatures, etc), and while that can be okay in small doses, for me, you give me way too much information. I'm not sure which element to focus on.

    But I'm still intrigued!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are you tired of being human, having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten minutes, Do you want to have power and influence over others, To be charming and desirable, To have wealth, health, without delaying in a good human posture and becoming an immortal? If yes, these your chance. It's a world of vampire where life get easier,We have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich, You will assured long life and prosperity, You shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness, Stronger and also very fast, You will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, This is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture. If you are interested contact us on Vampirelord7878@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. We offer financial assistance services to all individuals around the world.
    Please, contact us if you are in need:
    E-mail: info@creditfinance-bank.com
    Whatsapp number: +33784505888
    Website: https://www.creditfinance-bank.com

    ReplyDelete