Genre: YA
When I woke up this morning, I had no plans to skip class. Sure, I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about jumping to a new school in a new neighborhood weeks before the end of the year, or leaving my friends behind. But when your parents split, that’s how the cheese rolls.
It’s just too bad it rolled into a senior’s care facility.
Not that I can really blame Mom for that. Pickings were pretty slim for an elderly care specialist who’d taken 13 years off to be a mom. I’m not so self-absorbed to realize she had to take what she could to support the two of us. Palm Estates offered a live-in job, close to a school, with a condo price tag she could afford.
It’s just life isn’t all cake, living in a building full of seniors. Calls come in at all hours, complaining about all sorts of ailments. In the last week, I’d learned way more than I’d ever hoped to about what happens to the body when it reaches the down slope of Ol’ Faithful. Aches, pains, mysterious rashes….no way was I getting old. Nuh-uh.
Mom had tried to get me pumped up about this place by highlighting the outdoor pool. You know, the whole hang-with-your-friends deal. I pointed out that having a bunch of eighty-year-olds in saggy suits didn’t exactly incite my desire to have people over for a pool party.
But whatever.
Would I rather live somewhere else? Sure. But if ‘somewhere else’ was back at my old house with my control freak dad, then no way. In my mind, option B was way worse that having old people for neighbors.
Miss Snark's First Victim
I'm on the fence, but leaning towards YES.
ReplyDeleteI like the voice here and the set-up (a 13-year old living in an elderly home).
While I think first person works better for building back story into the beginning of a novel due to voice and the style of writing, I did think the set up began to drag out a little too long after a couple paragraphs.
I was more interested in what the narrator planned to do now that she skipped school.
I'd like to see a little more action about what the narrator is doing (action) mixed in with the set up.
Overall, though, the voice pulled me in enough that I would like to read more. :)
~Merc
Yes. But. I was thrown at the beginning. I expected her to explain more about why she was skipping class. This is funny stuff. I would read more.
ReplyDeleteYES! Love the voice, bravo! Sounds like a fun story. I'm hooked!
ReplyDeleteLove the voice. A very youthful and spunky character. Yes
ReplyDeleteYes. It's an interesting premise, a youth living in a senior complex, with loads of possibility. And the voice rocks :).
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteI, too, like your mc's voice, and the promise of a humorous story is there right from the beginning. I already want to know more about her "control freak" dad, too.
I would definitely read on!
No. Just didn't grab me by the collar and wake me up. Nicely written but the set up takes over the initial interest of the character skipping school.
ReplyDeleteThe voice is nice and the original set-up is a hook (skipping school). If I put myself in the shoes of a teen, though, the mention of "senior's care facility" brought it to a dead stop. I don't think it's the premise (which has great potential). Maybe it's the phrase "senior's care facility". Depending on your character, she might say, "Old folk's Home" or something like that. I found the voice in paragraphs 3 and 4 to be a bit old for your character. Her mother's work history, etc. could be better explained through dialog at some point later. Why not get right to the action?
ReplyDelete