Marcus's teeth rattled. He strangled the levers beside his seat, knuckles turning white, hanging on only because he needed an anchor to sanity.
The system's indicator lights began to die, one at a time.
Power cells –failing.
Pressure – failing.
The flipping hydraulics – failing.
All winked out, until the only thing left was a little orange light that glowed and pulsed. Laughter bubbled from his lips. What rocket scientist thought of that? Oxygen? Do I really need a light to know I'm still breathing?
Should have opted for the lethal injection.
An image flashed across the otherwise blank navigational screen in front of him. An outline of a man in a seat, alerting the pilot to assume the crash position. Must have been the same rocket scientist. No backup power, but they saved enough to tell you to bend over, tuck your head between your legs and kiss your a** goodbye. Clever.
Marcus's gaze jumped up to the object that filled the canopy's frame. Big and blue, a Goliath. "I'd say it's safe to assume, that's not Mars. Must have taken a wrong turn somewhere in that freaking worm hole." He should have known better than to get close to it.
He let go of the lever and tapped the control panel, then banged it with his fist. "Sh**." Dead and useless, except for the red sign of the seated-man, who took the opportunity to flash at him. Again. He slammed his fist down harder. The image hummed, popped and disappeared.
Miss Snark's First Victim
YES.
ReplyDeleteI know, it's really hard to be objective when I like Marcus so much, but let's see...
Immediate conflict and a situation that looks doomed. A snarky MC.
The fact Marcus clearly has a Past and this is a death sentence.
What's not to like? :D
~Merc, who is reminded how many crits she owes you :$
I usually don't like space opera, but I definitely like the beginning of this. Yes. The character is interesting, and you don't bog us down in technical jargon, which is always a turn-off for me. However, that last paragraph? Confused the hell out of me. I haven't a clue what it means. Everything before that was great.
ReplyDeleteThe opening is good, but I found myself skimming a bit in the middle. I think because the opening is so immediate, for me the digression of who had made the craft and whatnot interfered with the pace. That said, I think this looks like a really good opening--my opinion could be skewed because this isn't my genre.
ReplyDeleteYes. I love sci-fi and I would read more.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
LMT
Yes! I dont like drawn out space battles, but the clear fact this guy is crashing shows me the pace will please. The fact Marcus has a sense of humor is clear by the flipping preceding hydraulics and then the anger over the stupidity of telling him he needs a warning light telling him he breaths, I settle back knowing I'm in for a good, maybe even a great ride.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing!
I'm not a sci-fi fan, so I'm trying to read objectively. I think the voice is great. The lethal injection remark confused me; is this some kind of weird way of killing people? Is the crash then intentional or an accident?
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, I liked its lack of technojargon and made-up sounding words. I say yes.
Yes! I didn't stop reading until the end. And then wanted more.
ReplyDeleteYuna
OK, this one hooked me! Scifi notwithstanding.
ReplyDeleteI can watch a scifi movie and enjoy it, and that is probably why this page drew me in -- immediate action and impending possible death. :D
Yep. I want to read more.