To America: Happy Independence Day!
To Everyone: I'm so excited about your excitement. Our next Are You Hooked? is going to be stellar. And I've got to tell you how intensely satisfying it is to discover that some of you are hosting "practice" rounds and such, all in an effort to put forth your very best.
That's what it's about, isn't it? Always putting forth our best. And not only that, but constantly striving to raise the bar on what our "best" is, as well.
When I launched this blog a few months ago, I wasn't sure in which direction it would lead. I had a broad vision and just jumped in. In this short amount of time, I'm already amazed at what you have helped to create here.
Writers are a rare breed. I'm honored to be counted among you.
In an effort to continue to hone in on what makes a really strong first page, what if we use today's comment box to share what turns us off in a first page? That is, when you pick up a book because the title/cover intrigued you, what makes you close it again after reading those first two or three paragraphs? What do you hate? Why do you hate it? What makes you yawn?
For me, a fantasy that begins on the battlefield or on the brink of battle is a sure turn-off. It's also an almost-sure sign that the author is male. (No, seriously. Merc is a rare exception here. *wink*) I'd rather care about the characters before I watch them bleed, you know?
In nineteenth century literature, I expect a lot more backstory on the first page. But if it's too dry, too detailed for me to at least begin to be interested in the main character, I'll have trouble getting past it. A touch of humor always helps here (think Dickens, Austen).
"Mass fiction" (for lack of a better term) gets slammed shut if there is unwarranted profanity or blatant hedonism in the opening lines. I know immediately that I will not like a character who cares too much about himself and too little about others. Even if there's promise of a reform as the pages turn.
And one grammatical error -- even a teeny-tiny one -- is the dance of death. I am simply that anal about it, and have no intention of changing.
So. What about you? Let's learn about the "no-no's" so that we can, perhaps, apply them to our own writing.
Here's to the writing life!
Miss Snark's First Victim
You have to pay me to pick up a book recommended by Oprah. From browsing her list I know I don't like what she recommends. Ditto for almost anything labeled "literatue". I might be the reverse of every other critic alive but if you can't give it a genre than I'm guessing it doesn't have a point and I don't care.
ReplyDeleteThe kiss of death for me is lack of action. I don't want to read a book about staring out the window at clouds. I also don't care about the characters shoes, ex-fiancee, or their copy toner being out. In fact, I rarely pick up modern fiction. I like urban fantasy but not I'm not into chick-lit, soccer mo, fiction, or the trials and tribulations of a young Manhattanite out to find a cheap bagel.
I do like some epic fantasy, but again, it needs a point. I grew up reading Tolkein, I think he's style is very lyrical, but it's not fast-paced and gripping. Tolkein is for bedtimes.
I love books that make me think and laugh. I hate to cry. If the end of the book has me in tears because another good character has been wasted by an Evil Author I won't buy that authors books again. I like happy endings. I like the best person (but maybe not the hero) to win.
I will forgive spelling errors because I know that isn't necassarily the authors fault. Everything is retyped by the publishing house. But I do pay attention to which houses have the most mistakes and avoid books by those houses.
I'm against profuse profanity. Sometimes it fits, but I'm happier not to have it.
Characters that are to dumb to live drive me crazy and will make me close the book.
Obscene scenes where it looks like the author was forced at gun point to throw in a sex scene into an otherwise perfectly fine book make me roll my eyes and flip to the end. No, I don't believe that 15 minutes after meeting anyone you're going to get down and dirty with them. I believe it even less of a character that's described as independent, driven, isolated, or anything else. Jane Austen and Dresden handle romance fine, a hint that something might happen off stage is all I really need to get the picture.
.... I'm a picky reader. Thankfully there are a lot of good books out there. :o)
I get turned off with too much description.
ReplyDeleteI suppose there aren't that many books like that, but if a book goes a whole page with description (unfortunately, I have picked up books like that... and then put them down) without any introduction of a single character, I know it's probably going to be like that the rest of the book.
Description is good, but not a straight page worth. ;) One has to drop it in subtle hints across the words.
I'm probably guilty of a lot of these things, but here is my no-no list:
ReplyDelete-A sex scene/pornographic garbage
-Excessive profanity
-Blatant spelling errors (ones that change the meaning of things.)
-Laundry list descriptions
-Total lack of dialogue (for some reason, I really like a line or two on the first page *shrugs*) and/or action
-Info dumps
-Cliches
Like I said, I'm probably guilty of some or most of the above. *sigh* You'd think I'd learn to read like a writer and write like a reader *eyeroll*
Be nice if we could do that, wouldn't it Bethy *also rolls eyes*
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly tolerant when it comes to reading, and read a broad range of stuff, so it's hard to pin down what I do and don't like.
*ponders*
Description is definitely a turn off. Little bits are fine, obviously, but I'm a skimmer when it comes to any paragraph which looks even a little dense.
So, following on from that, long first paragraphs. If it looks like it's going to take too much investment right up front even just to test, I won't bother.
Other than that, I think the only thing that would turn me off if the beginning was short and snappy would be excess profanity - but again, I'm pretty tolerant if it looks like there's a point to it all.
There are a host of other things that will make me drop the book and never finish it, but they relate to more than just the first page :)
I hate it when the book starts out with a character running away from something. It's usually night, whatever's after them is always scary, they're in a forest, they fall or get caught by tree limbs or whatever... Such a cliché. I see this more in contest entries and first chapters up for critique, but luckily not so much in published books. A scene like this would have me slamming the cover closed faster than the character could let out his first scream. Gah.
ReplyDeleteStarting out with backstory naming a bunch of characters we have no clue about because they won't appear until later in the story.
Set up. The scene is set with how things came to be as they are now, then the character contemplates his navel as he marshals his mental forces for something yet to happen. Such a snore.
A long, drawn out scene that's mostly redundant, but the author seems to think it's so exciting that it must be repeated with just the words rearranged.
Omniscient narrators who talk directly to the reader. "Little did Jim know that down the hall Suzy was coming after him with a bloody hatchet." Puh-leese.
Misplaced modifiers and dangling participles make me pull my hair out. Mixed modifiers will send me screaming from the room.
I'm with Just_me. Very picky, and can't find enough good books to read.
While Authoress is getting everything together here we're having a Last Lines contest (no prizes or agents though) over on my blog.
ReplyDeleteCome show us the fantastic, hooky, lats line of your first chapter!
http://lianabrooks.blogspot.com
I'm hooked when a writer tosses a character into an interesting or unique situation and allows the reader to squirm with discomfort with them.
ReplyDeleteThere are several ways -- both right and wrong -- to build that empire of empathy, it's the writer's job to figure out the best way to do it.
Hey ...thanks "Just Me" for directing your blog readers here. Cool site.
If the first paragraph starts with the weather, it's dead. I *censored* DO NOT CARE about the bloody weather, people. :P
ReplyDeleteWaking up. If the character wakes up in the first line, whether woken by the alarm/phone, or waking from a dream, the book hits the wall in sheer frustration.
Unnamed third person POV characters. It just bugs the heck out of me if the writer goes on for pages, and only once someone says the MC's or POV char's name, does it get used in the narrative. This makes NO sense to me. No, it's not "mysterious" it's stupid, annoying, and I think the author is being a moron. :P
Ditto the words "hooded figure" (or the word "figure" in general). I see that, I'm done. Seriously. If the *censored :D* author can't take the time, imagination or work to find something more accurate, interesting or creative, I have low expectations about the rest of the novel/story.
I hate panning camera POV (the one where we get a description of the setting, zoom into the MC, get a physical run down of what they look like, and only then get into their head, usually for a boring, whiny triade on what's wrong in their life... *yawn*)
Anything where the MC is sitting, staring out the window or otherwise doing something static and mundane.
Personally I love fight/battle scenes in the opening (bwhahahaa!) but you still have to give me one character I might care about and get up close and personal. ;)
Hmm, there's more. I'm picky. I WILL read books that bug me if I'm in the right mood but there usually has to be something extra and intriguing about it. (For example, Darkly Dreaming Dexter starts with a description of the moon, but the voice is distinctive enough and I was already intrigued by the blurb, I read it--and needless to say I'm hooked on the series. ;))
Authoress, aside from fights/battles, do you find that openings that include graphic violence (if you read that kind of thing) are more common by one gender than the other? Anyone can answer this, actually. ;)
I've never really paid attention (and I need to read more) but your comment made me curious!
Actually, I'm curious what traits or writing tics seem more common in one gender or the other... maybe a topic for another Fri? :)
~Merc
Great idea, Merc! Forthcoming...
ReplyDeleteI've started a story with a battle scene and I'm not male.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Merc on the story starting with the discription of the horizon, forest or ocean. Ack! Snapped shut. I have a very short attention span. If you want it, you better hook me in the first paragraph. I don't mind battle scenes in the opener, I actually like them. I don't mind sex scenes but I prefer they have a purpose. If you put them in there, don't toss them on the opener thinking it will get my attention, it will make me snap the book shut. Same with profanity, I don't mind it, I was a soldier and had been around it quite a bit in the Army. A little bit is fine, I don't care, but don't use them for every other word.
Last but not least. Don't make my gender out to be stupid. I hate cliche dumb women that will do anything to please their man. Give em a little backbone, males included. Hate whiny male characters. That will make me snap a book shut faster than anything else.
I've heard it said, more than once, that literature is a book with the boring stuff left in.
ReplyDelete