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Thursday, October 9, 2008

F2S 24

Wolf was right—the dead were irresistible.

Leopard flexed his hands and squatted in front of the bound and gagged
goblin emperor.

11 comments:

  1. Yes :o) I'm interested. Keep writing.

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  2. Wolf was right—the dead were irresistible.

    Leopard flexed his hands and squatted in front of the bound and gagged goblin emperor.


    This is a grabber! I don't normally like this kind of fiction, but I would keep reading.

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  3. I'd definitely keep reading. Good showing of the genre, setting, and introduction of the MC. Smooth, and flows well, too.

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  4. I'm interested, though slightly confused--if the goblin is dead, why bother to bind and gag him?

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  5. I'm not sure--I'd have to read blurb to keep going. I'm sure this is just me, but the animal names kind of threw me.

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  6. The first sentence was an immediate hook. By the end of the second I was ready to leave, but that's my issue, not yours. I think this probably would work very well for people who like this genre (which is a fantasy cross of some kind, maybe?).

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  7. I'm definitely interested. Unique opener. :-)

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  8. Thanks, everyone! :D I appreciate all the comments!

    (Yeah, it is dark fantasy. ;))

    The animal names are unique to the two characters, but I was wondering if so close together that would be confusing.

    Suppose I better get back to it now after recharging my brain. ;)

    Ta!

    ~Merc

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  9. The first sentence definitely has a hook, but I don't see how the second sentence connects with it, unless the bound and gagged goblin is already dead.

    The animal names made me frown a bit, but they wouldn't keep me from reading on.

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