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Thursday, October 9, 2008

F2S 46

I am not the oldest creature alive. The dragons are far more ancient.

18 comments:

  1. Interesting. I like the tone. I'd keep reading.

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  2. I would start the second sentence with Dragons - take out the, the. Definetly would keep reading.

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  3. I like it. I'd definitely keep reading

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  4. I like it. I wish you'd added a 'but' at the end to tell what he/she is. I'd definitely read more.

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  5. I'm not a fan of books with dragons, but (that's a personal thing).

    This is a good start.

    Good job!

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  6. I like this. It sets a mood right away and makes readers ask questions from the very beginning.

    In addition, I like the tempo: short, crisp, no nonsense. :-)

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  7. I think I’ve seen this before…
    Anyway, it’s interesting, but doesn’t really reveal as much as I’d like to see, nor really enough to hook me yet. Obviously it’s a fantasy, but there’s no sense of conflict or importance yet that would make the reader care about this observation.

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  8. I am not the oldest creature alive. The dragons are far more ancient.

    I'm not a dragon-story reader, but like kat, that's a personal preference.

    This is short and to the point. I think it has great potential.

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  9. I'm at work, skimming through the sentences before racing out the door to, ya know, /work/, and this one really caught my eye.

    I love it. Nice work.

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  10. I'm not a fan of dragons, but I thought this was a good opening.

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  11. Interesting - I'd read on.

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  12. I like this, as long as we shortly get to learn who/what the narrator is.

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  13. Hmm, ancient dragons and creatures...not my thing, but this really is too broad for the first two sentences. At this point I'm thinking 'what about this not-the-oldest-creature? And why do we need to know how old it is?' Didn't get a whole lot from this, sorry. Not hooked.

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  14. Yep, I'd be all over this. Very cool.

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  15. It's great, but I don't really like reading about draggons.

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  16. Thanks for the great comments! It's okay to be in the minority too, some of the "didn't likes" were very insightful.

    It's interesting how many people are turned on or off by a particular word, like, say... oh, Dragon.

    This not being a dragon book, but a book where dragons are listed among the mythical and fantastic, that's a great bit of knowledge to keep in mind.

    Lots of amazing entries in this contest; very inspiring :)

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