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Thursday, March 25, 2010

19 YA Paranormal Romance

TITLE: Again
GENRE: Young Adult Paranormal Romance


I used to laugh at my friend Becca when she spoke about the Universe. She truly expects that exerting positive energy will get her anything.
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18 comments:

  1. Holly BodgerMarch 25, 2010 at 9:22 AM

    The two verb tenses so close together is a bit unsettling. Sorry, not hooked.

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  2. angelareneMarch 25, 2010 at 9:32 AM

    I'm hooked...but I would replace expects with believes just to help the fluidity because you have two words with the prefix, "ex"..

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  3. TamiMarch 25, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    Not hooked. The verb tense mixing worries me and I'm more interested in Becca than I am in the person who laughed at her.

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  4. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    I might be more hooked if the tenses matched.

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  5. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    Same problem with the tense.

    I'd read a few more lines to see if "positive energy" came into play sooner rather than much later, if at all.

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  6. SelestialMarch 25, 2010 at 10:01 AM

    Same tense issues as mentioned before. If that was fixed, I might be curious enough to read on, but as it stands now, not hooked.

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  7. MomwomanMarch 25, 2010 at 10:01 AM

    First sentecne hooked me, second made my back off. Not well contructed. I'd read 1 more.

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  8. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 10:05 AM

    Not awful, but it doesn't hook me

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  9. UnknownMarch 25, 2010 at 10:15 AM

    I like it!

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  10. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 10:32 AM

    Yes. Definitely hooked. :)

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  11. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 11:34 AM

    Hooked.

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  12. Chantal KirklandMarch 25, 2010 at 12:01 PM

    Blegh. I'm kinda bored already. No urgency. I need more kick.

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  13. KateeMarch 25, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    I don't think I'd read more. It's too passive. I'd like to see something happen. The first sentence is fine but I want to know what changed, not have it elaborated on.

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  14. Rebecca T.March 25, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    "used to laugh" makes me think the narrator's changed her mind. But the next sentence makes it sound like she hasn't.

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  15. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    Nothing grabs me, and I personally hate it when the narrator talks to me. I want story, not monologue.

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  16. Ash. ElizabethMarch 25, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    nothing really held my attention. it's a toss up.

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  17. AnassaMarch 25, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    I'm intrigued and like the voice. I'd keep going.

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  18. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 10:19 PM

    The tenses threw me, but I'm not hooked, sorry.

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