Yikes. Total unhook. This is more of a personal thing, probably, but popular starlets listed by name are a turnoff for me. It's not as bad as when character descriptions are shortcutted as star names (it sounds like your MC may be paparazzi) but it's still a turnoff for me.
I imagine it's a strong turn ON for other readers, though. Just gotta hit the right audience, which I am not.
I'm confused about putting time in and getting spiked with JLo's heel--I don't know what's happening in the scene. Are they running?
There's a bigger issue for me, though. Bennifer is long, long dead, Britney and Lindsay are well on their way there, and if this book were under contract tomorrow, it would be two more years to publication. Would these names (esp. since you've only given first names) still grab anyone? I personally wouldn't bank on that.
The title makes me think "tinkerbell" which makes me think of Paris Hilton. I'm wondering if the MC is a dog, just the impression I'm getting (mostly from the name). Not hooked
Not hooked, for reasons others have cited. I think it's a solid sentence without the starlets' names (the "...until JLo spiked me with a heel" is catchy), but putting those names in will date the book. Can you tell the same story without present-day, real-world names?
Interesting -- got have a lot of momentum to keep this going... I'd keep reading to discover if it does.
ReplyDeleteYikes. Total unhook. This is more of a personal thing, probably, but popular starlets listed by name are a turnoff for me. It's not as bad as when character descriptions are shortcutted as star names (it sounds like your MC may be paparazzi) but it's still a turnoff for me.
ReplyDeleteI imagine it's a strong turn ON for other readers, though. Just gotta hit the right audience, which I am not.
I'm confused about putting time in and getting spiked with JLo's heel--I don't know what's happening in the scene. Are they running?
ReplyDeleteThere's a bigger issue for me, though. Bennifer is long, long dead, Britney and Lindsay are well on their way there, and if this book were under contract tomorrow, it would be two more years to publication. Would these names (esp. since you've only given first names) still grab anyone? I personally wouldn't bank on that.
Sorry :(
The title makes me think "tinkerbell" which makes me think of Paris Hilton. I'm wondering if the MC is a dog, just the impression I'm getting (mostly from the name). Not hooked
ReplyDeleteNot hooked, and confusing. And wasn't JLo one half of Bennifer?
ReplyDeleteNot hooked.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked, for reasons others have cited. I think it's a solid sentence without the starlets' names (the "...until JLo spiked me with a heel" is catchy), but putting those names in will date the book. Can you tell the same story without present-day, real-world names?
ReplyDeleteA little confused, but I might totally be hooked in the next sentence.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked, and I'm immediately turned off by all the references to real people.
ReplyDelete