TITLE: Hack
GENRE: YA Contemporary
Hacking is part art, part science. Take the Trojan horse I wrote to take over Mason High's computers. At precisely 9:32 on a boring Thursday morning, the school mascot, Gander Gus, waddled across every computer screen in the school singing "Let's Get This Party Started." The whole network had to be shut down until the techies from district removed my code from the server. It was an act of kindness, really, a public service. Snoozing students woke up and smiled. Everyone talked about it for weeks. Which was how long it took them to trace the code to me. The principal was not amused. That's why I'm here. Banned from computer classes for life. On the bus to Central Alternative Learning Center, the high school for freaks, head cases, and now, computer dorks.
It's November, and typical Houston, the humidity is off the charts. By the time I get to school, my hair has frizzed to epic proportions. Hi, I'm Beth. No, I didn't stick my finger in a light socket.
The bus pulls up to a dumpy brick building that could fit inside the freshman wing of Mason High. I shift my backpack on my shoulders and follow a handful of students drifting toward the entrance. The guy in front of me, a massive dude in a black hoodie, stops suddenly and I slam into him. He reeks of cigarettes, and I feel the remnants of his smoky dregs drift over me and settle in my clothes and hair.
Miss Snark's First Victim
Really liked the voice on this one. And I like that your MC is getting thrown into the Alternative School. I'd read more as I want to see how her first day at this school goes.
ReplyDeleteThe voice of this entry is compelling. I especially enjoyed the implied humor of the prank as well as the dry humor the MC uses throughout the subsequent paragraphs. I would read on for sure.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely hooked! Strong voice - I like the character. Would definitely read on! :-)
ReplyDeleteNice, strong voice! I would follow her on. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on character development and your voice was very consistent.
ReplyDeleteHmmm!
ReplyDeleteUsually a Trojan masks a darker intent; once you are in the system a TH blows it wide open to the cyber-crack. What did she do in there while her goose was marching?
Is she a joker, or a gray-hat?
It would be REALLY interesting if this little prologue/backstory/introduction actually has more plot that we realize!
I like the voice here. I'd read on : )
ReplyDeleteLike the voice a lot! The first paragraph could be broekn into two maybe... but it is great. I love the way you introduce her name.
ReplyDeleteThe phrase "I feel" is distancing and telling. Just "The remenants ... drift over me." Of course she feels it, she's the MC and it's her pov. So just avoid telling phrasing like that (feel, hear, look, see, watch) etc. for showing phrasing instead.
I'd read more! This sounds cool!
"Hi, I'm Beth" threw me off. I'm not hooked on it only because I don't like the way you introduce the main character. I agree, you're voice is good, but find it hard to buy into the teenage, female hacker.
ReplyDeleteObviously opinions vary: I love the idea of the teenage female hacker. Definitely hooked.
ReplyDeleteGood, very good. I am instantly, completely hooked. Love the voice. Love the story. I want more!
ReplyDeleteI like this, good voice and it's a bit different. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteI like that you have a female hacker and I love her attitude, but I'm not drawn into it. Maybe just not a fan of present tense, maybe it's that she got caught. She had to know they'd look for her, and I should give her a break, she's a teenager. I only know a few people who genuinely call themselves hackers and pitting a teen them vs a highschool I'd bet on them. So stupid oversight or betrayal of a friend, misinformation, something led to her downfall and it bugs me. Clearly the issue is me though.
ReplyDeleteHooked hooked hooked!
ReplyDeleteI might be in a minority (and I'm talking generally, not this specific novel) but I love present tense. I feel like the pace is faster. I also love the female teenage hacker idea. I do agree with Tori about how she got caught. If she's not a good hacker then fine but if she is, then maybe someone told on her.
I love this and can't wait to buy it :)
I like this but I think you should tell us where she is before you tell us how she got there. Otherwise, it comes off as backstory and you don't want someone to stop reading because of that.
ReplyDeleteI also don't really buy that this would be bad enough to get her sent to another school unless this was the final straw in a LONG list of things.
The voice really does work, but I so wanted to see that opening scene in real time. I also would have liked a hint at the plot. Yes, she's in alternative school, but what problem will arise there? Still, I'd read more. I'm believing you won't let the reader down.
ReplyDeleteLove the voice, but not a fan of the backstory up front. I think you should introduce her, on the bus, going to the new school, then go into the reasons why.
ReplyDeleteNice to have a female hacker too. You usually imagine them to be skinny, pimply guys with glasses. Although, she's gonna have to be kick ass to beat Lisbeth Salander as the hottest female hacker ever.
good hook, good character, and funny voice. Actually funny and not attempting funny, big difference. heck yeah, i'd keep reading!
ReplyDeleteOhhh, I'm hooked! I love the voice, and I'm also curious to know if Beth has done more than JUST this Trojan Horse.
ReplyDeleteThe first paragraph had me. I also think Hacking is a fresh idea in YA that we've not seen much of, so I'm definitely intrigued.
I did have a question about "Hi. I'm Beth. No I didn't put my finger in a light socket." Is that supposed to her joking in her own head or is she saying that to the reader? It's unclear?
And I also wonder if her Trojan horse was really an act of kindness; if she did it just for fun, or if there was some darker intent, so I'd love if it you'd hint about the motivations behind it a bit more.
I'm hooked. I like the voice and the character's antics/pov. Great intro to her personality.
ReplyDeleteYeah - I really liked this. I think we need more female main characters, and it appears yours has some serious spunk! Kudos! And Good luck!
ReplyDelete