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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

First 50 Words #7

TITLE: Alien Academy
GENRE: YA SF

Sam began his first press conference with three handicaps. The tattoo on his face looked vicious on screen, a twenty foot poster of him hung in the lobby, and worst of all, he hadn't gotten to eat since hitting Earth and the jump sickness grew every minute.
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10 comments:

  1. Tatum FlynnApril 27, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    Hooked!

    Nitpicks: twenty-foot should be hyphenated, and it might be better if the first sentence ends in a colon, introducing his handicaps.

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  2. Shakier AnthemApril 27, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Great intro! You've introduced not one but about five compelling questions I want to know the answers to, so I'd definitely keep reading.

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  3. AnonymousApril 27, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    I think this is great, especially considering the fun title. Good Luck : )

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  4. BarbaraApril 27, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Great opening as is! You make me wonder who he is and why he's having the press conference. The tattoo and the poster give me clues as to who he might be, and Earth and jump sickness tell me about the world he lives in. Nicely done!

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  5. ConstanceApril 27, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    I love everything about this. Absolutely great! And the title is amazing.

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  6. RuthApril 27, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    Lots of questions I need answering here - so of course, I'd have to read on! :)

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  7. lexcadeApril 27, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    This is great. I'd definitely read on. I must know what this jump sickness is.

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  8. Traci VWApril 27, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    I want to know more. Great job! I agree with using a colon before listing his handicaps.

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  9. StinaApril 28, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    I agree that you need a colon. Otherwise, I'd keep reading. I'm intrigued. :D

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  10. Sara J. HenryMay 1, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    I'd read on, for sure!

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