TITLE: Trapped In Lunch Lady Land
GENRE: Fantasy
A creamed corn emergency in the Serling Heights Intermediate School lunch room sends Josh and Patty Anne to a strange, exceedingly messy secret world. They soon realize that survival in a land made completely from cafeteria food is not a piece of cake.
These former adversaries grudgingly form a team as they battle the whirling blades of the skybeater, brave the molten cheese geysers of Nacho Valley and scale the frigid heights of Neapolitan Mountain on their quest to learn the secrets of Lunch Lady Land and make it back home, gravy-splattered but alive.
Where do lunch ladies come from, and do they really have wings? Can you swim through Jello if your life depends on it? Just why does cafeteria food taste so bad? TRAPPED IN LUNCH LADY LAND. a chapter book complete at 14,500 words, answers these questions and many more.
Miss Snark's First Victim
Yes. Great voice! This sounds hysterical.
ReplyDeleteNO
ReplyDeleteYou lost me at the first paragraph.
Yes, but only because I'm assuming this is MG Fantasy, not adult fantasy as the named genre implies. I think it sounds cute.
ReplyDeleteYes. You almost lost me trying to figure out how the first paragraph all fit together, but the rest pulled me in.
ReplyDeleteYes. Sounds like a very imaginative world with a great voice.
ReplyDeleteYES. I loved this, assuming it's for children - your genre of "Fantasy" suggests adult.
ReplyDeleteYes. I think this sounds very silly and charming, but like other posters, would recommend that you clarify your genre more so people are sure it's for a younger audience.
ReplyDeleteYes. Great voice for a MG book.
ReplyDeleteYes. My son would love this. It's fun with a great voice.
ReplyDeleteYES, so funny and great voice. Love the line "a land made completely from cafeteria food is not a piece of cake."
ReplyDeleteNo. This sounds over the top for me and I don't understand how they intend to to get home. The voice is nice though.
ReplyDeleteYes, b/c the premise sounds great. Your query, while fun, is pretty much one big list, which is not world building or 'showing'.
ReplyDeleteYes. Don't normally like questions in queries but the rest works.
ReplyDeleteYES
ReplyDeleteBecause the voice is spot-on for a chapter book
Yes, the voice is wonderful and I got a feel for how this book would read right away.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's funny and hook-y, though I think it's more MG than plain old "fantasy."
ReplyDeleteYes. Love the voice.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteIt's imaginative and has a really nice voice for MG; however, I don't get any sense of a conflict other than "need to get home" or an antagonist who is thwarting their efforts.
Yes.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at the opening: "A creamed corn emergency..." very nice humor and voice here.
Yes. But you lost me in the beginning because the genre was listed as just fantasy. Make sure in contests you clearly state this is MG, or maybe even younger.
ReplyDeleteYes- Interesting premise- voice intrigueing.
ReplyDeleteYes! Loved the voice, this sounds unique and original and fun!
ReplyDeleteYes. But only if this is MG and because I like the humor.
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes for a YA version, double-Yes for a version that somehow does this in an adult Fantasy book.
ReplyDeleteYes. This sounds fun, and the voice is great. I do wonder, though, if it's too similar to the chapter book series about the secret life of janitors.
ReplyDeleteYES. Sounds perfect for older elementary schoolers - great voice, fun concept.
ReplyDeleteYes. I liked the premise, but was confused by some of the writing.
ReplyDeleteYes, but only if it's MG (the wordcount alone suggests this), cannot imagine being hooked for an adult fantasy.
ReplyDeleteCan see my daughter enjoying a story like this.
Yes.
ReplyDelete(Just make sure you use the correct genre label. This would be a horrible adult fantasy book.)
Yes! This sounds like a lot of fun and you nailed the voice. I agree with the other posters that this should be re-labeled as MG Fantasy.
ReplyDeleteYes - As others said, Middle Grade needs to be in the genre.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteLove the imaginative and playful voice but I strongly disagree with others who have said this is great for MG. In my opinion it has to be a children's chapter book which I am almost 100% sure is your intention. But MG? No way.
No. Thought it was a joke until the last paragraph, when the genre was identified. And don't post questions in your query.
ReplyDeleteYes. It sounds just like something children would love to read, but avoid the questions in your third paragraph.
ReplyDeleteYes. 'Nuf said.
ReplyDeleteYES. This sounds like fun, though initially calling the genre fantasy (implying adult) almost threw me completely.
ReplyDeleteYES!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like amazing fun for a kid. I'd reassign the genre. Fantasy is an adult genre, and this is clearly for elementary school age.
Yes - But only assuming it's mislabeled - it sounds like YA fantasy, from content and length.
ReplyDeleteYes! Wonderful idea and executed very well.
ReplyDeleteYes! I love the concept and the voice, though I would drop the rhetorical questions in the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteYes - proving this is middle grade! Great except for the questions at the end.
ReplyDeleteYES! Who wouldn't want to roam a land made of food and find out the mystery of why cafeteria food is horrendous?!?
ReplyDeleteYes, although I worry about the genre (since less agents look at chapter books). Does it have to be a chapter book? If you flesh this idea out a little more, you could have a delightful MG fantasy along the lines of Nathan Bransford's JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KABOW.
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