TITLE: Home Base
GENRE: YA
Fifteen-year-old Satoshi Matsumoto spent the last three years living in Atlanta where he was the star of his middle-school baseball team - a slugger with pro potential, according to his American coach. Now that his father's overseas assignment has finished, he's moved back to his hometown in rural Japan but he no longer fits in. Living abroad has changed him, and his old friends are suspicious of his newly acquired foreign ways. They also don't get why he's suddenly hanging around with the mysterious Misa, who is rumored to be earning money through dating older men. As if that's not bad enough, his grandfather, who's suddenly obsessed with his pet seal robot, doesn't seem to remember him.
He joins the baseball team at his new high school in Japan, confident that he can help them get to the National Tournament at Koshien, an event on par with the Super Bowl in the U.S. His new coach, however, is more concerned with his poor bunting than his superior batting skills. He perseveres, but just when he begins to bond with his teammates, his frustration comes to a boil. He punches the pitcher, whose father happens to have underworld connections, for insulting Misa, and gets kicked off the team.
Satoshi must find a way to make amends (and avoid getting pounded to a pulp), or go back to America to live with his former coach, abandoning the friends and family who need him the most.
Miss Snark's First Victim
YES
ReplyDeleteI connected with the MC, I learned what situation he was in and what his goals are.
NO. I understand the Main Goal and why it matters to the MC, but I don't know what the stakes are. So what if he doesn't go to the nationals?
ReplyDelete~Sarah F.
Yes. I like the idea of the setting (I have to assume the town is a more rural Japanese, yes?), and even though I have no interest in sports, I'd read it. Admittedly, I'm a little confused by the bit about living with his former coach in the States because there's no mention of the coach otherwise.
ReplyDeleteYes - the cultural conflicts have a lot of potential, and I'd love to see more YA set in Japan.
ReplyDeleteYes. I waffled a bit as there are some things that are unclear with regards to stakes, but the MC came off as strong and interesting enough to warrant a peek at the MS.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteA qualified yes because the writing is polished and professional in the query so I would trust that the book would be also - even if my one reservation is that the setup sounds great but there are no real stakes to grab onto that might make me feel a real interest in the MC's predicament.
No, I agree with the above. The writing is good, the premise seems interesting, but the stakes aren't clearly defined.
ReplyDeleteYes, I like the multicultural conflict. Allows the reader to explore a new culture while still keeping a foot in their own (if they're from the West).
ReplyDeleteNo. Almost yes, but I don't feel the urgency in the stakes.
ReplyDeleteNo. As stated above, the stakes aren't really clear, and I also feel like a great deal of this is just set up.
ReplyDeleteNO. Like others, I didn't get a clear idea of the stakes, and certain things seemed to come out of nowhere, like him going back to America to live with his coach.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like that the premise is something I've never seen before.
ReplyDeleteYES. I think that the struggle between the conflicting cultural expectations would make for a very interesting read.
ReplyDeleteNo. I didn't get a clear idea of the stakes and moving in with his coach comes out of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like the multi-cultural aspect of this. I will warn you that baseball stories aren't selling. I know of one in which the agent really liked, but he turned it down for that sole reason-- baseball novels aren't selling.
ReplyDeleteNo. (Queries are tough!)
ReplyDeleteI was bogged down by the lengthy setup and confused by what the stakes are because I feel like the mention of the things that frustrate him are too far removed (contextually) from his reaction to them (the punching) and I don't get any sense of a plan to correct his situation (except run away--is baseball so important to him that he'd abandon his family?).
YES, but define the stakes more.
ReplyDeleteNo. The goal is too washed out.
ReplyDeleteYes, but only b/c I like the premise. Most of this query is back story, and the stakes need to be clearer.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like the idea of a story set in Japan, but the query is too long and includes more information than we really need which makes the stakes/focus of the story unclear.
ReplyDeleteNO
ReplyDeleteThe stakes aren't clearly defined for me, even though the writing is strong
Yes- I'd give it a little more time.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like the conflict presented at the end of the query.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like the premise and think this sounds unique.
ReplyDeleteNo. As has already been stated there’s no clear stakes and I don’t get where running away to live with his former coach can be a viable option.
ReplyDeleteYes - while the stakes don't sound as high as some stories, they're clear, the elements are clearly linked, and I can tell where the conflict is going to drive into a climax.
ReplyDeleteNo. That's not enough conflict to keep me engaged for a whole book; stakes should be higher or better defined.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteI'd read the pages because this is different and original. I want to know more about this MC.
Yes. But it's a yes to the story, not the query. I got the feeling you should've ended about a paragraph and a half sooner than you did - the feeling that it's overlong makes me feel like I'm ruining the book for myself by reading it. Love how unique this premise is, though.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteSetting/angle is unique, though echoing others it seems to be mostly set-up without clear stakes. I would be interested to read more, though not the whole book if the central conflict weren't strong enough.
Yes - I like the setting, but I agree the stakes need to be set higher, or explained more clearly. What if he can't fit in?
ReplyDeleteNo. I think the first paragraph is good, but the second reads more like a synopsis. Like a few others I feel your stakes could be more defined. Why is it so awful if he is forced to move back to America? It sounds like he did well there.
ReplyDeleteNo. I like the premise, but unsure how all the events in the query tie together.
ReplyDeleteNo. Though more a maybe. The idea sounds good but the query felt too much likes set-up and not enough focus on the stakes at hand for the MC.
ReplyDeleteYes, but on the strength of the light touch you have with the setting. The query itself needs focus and balance ('underworld connections' overwhelms the gentleness of 'make amends').
ReplyDeleteYES. This is unique and interesting, but I'm concerned about his choice at the end -- I don't get why he has to leave if he can't make amends.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteI'd take a risk that the stakes become clear pretty early in the MS though, because they aren't clear here. Setting and characters are interesting enough to give it a go.
Yes. It sounded unique and interesting.
ReplyDeleteYes. A neat story and I love that it's set in Japan, but you need a stronger first line I think.
ReplyDeleteNo, because the stakes don't feel high enough, even though there's a lot to like.
ReplyDelete