TITLE: To Catch A Fetch
GENRE: Paranormal Romance
He’s a ghost hunter searching for the remaining fragments of a legendary amulet. She’s an estate photographer who doesn’t believe in ghosts—or love at first sight. How can a woman who has spent her life fighting her instincts learn to trust a man who has survived acting on his?
Devyn Cartwright stood on the porch steps of the abandoned Victorian house and inspected her future. Opportunity hadn't knocked, it had handed her the damn key. Now, as the last fragments of dusk died away, she clutched the home’s antique key in her hand, its engraved edges scraping the sensitive skin of her palm.
The heavy oak door opened on silent hinges that belied their age. Devyn stepped inside and the door snicked closed behind her. She reached out to feel for a light switch along the foyer wall. Layers of thick shadows cloaked the rooms to her right and left, making it difficult to discern more than the most basic outlines of cloth-draped furnishings.
Lots of cloth-draped furnishings. Her pulse jumped. Some women went crazy for purses or shoes, but Devyn’s obsession was houses, specifically nineteenth-century homes and period furniture. The lure of an abandoned mansion was temptation enough, but the fact it was rumored to be stuffed to its rafters with authentic pieces made the house too good to resist. She had taken one look at the vintage key in her boss’s hand and canceled her last photo shoot of the day.
Maybe I should have asked a few more questions before hauling a** out here—like did the house have working utilities? Her fingers brushed against the rounded edge of a modern light switch and she sighed with relief. Several futile flicks later she muttered her third favorite curse word.
Miss Snark's First Victim
Wow, I absolutely love this!!! I have to say, it's really hard to hook me with paranormal romance lately since the market was recently so saturated (and I grew up on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so that's something I never thought I'd say!) but your logline hooked me, and Devyn's obsession with nineteenth century homes and period furniture kept me reading. I'm really drawn to this character. She seems to have a lot of sass, and I'd love to see how she handles encountering the ghosts she doesn't believe in, and the man who's going to change how she feels about love at first sight. I would definitely keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI would totally read on! Intriguing and I like the humor!
ReplyDeleteI would definitely read on!
ReplyDeleteLove all the little details - I can almost feel the heaviness of the antique key in my hand. Lovely opening and the hook definitely has me intrigued. Well done!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great book and I dont really read to.
ReplyDeleteany reason why you went for a**, i found it a little distracting, as the idea of third favorite swear word.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! Antique keys, nineteenth-century home, ghosts, and ghost hunting? I'd definitely read more. I love the bit of humor at the end with the light switch. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGreat start! I can't say I am much for romance novels but love me some antiques so label me anxious to read more
ReplyDeleteI want to read more! I see an engaging style, a character who already seems intriguing, and a hint of mystery. What more could you ask for?
ReplyDeleteLove this! Snicked is great and your description pulls me in. Crisp and interesting writing. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI like the atmosphere here--the Victorian house and antique key give some great setting details. I'm assuming more conflict pops up in the next few pages as hunting for antiques doesn't hold much tension. I'd keep reading in the hope that the ghost piece shows up pretty quickly.
ReplyDeleteAnd I loved, "Opportunity hadn't knocked, it had handed her the damn key." Great line!
This beginning really creates a lot of atmosphere, while still keep it lighthearted and with a contemporary flair! I think a lot of people can relate to the head versus heart battle Devyn faces...even if they don't all believe in ghosts, etc. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI would definitely read on, and logline makes this sound like an intriguing premise. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think this is a good start and sets the tone nicely for what’s to come, especially with a ghost-hunting hero. The only question I have is how this house is Devyn’s future. Did she buy it? Inherit it? Or is she just supposed to be photographing it? She seems to have a good sense of humor, too.
ReplyDeleteI'll echo everyone's comments here. Very well written, great narrative voice, good attention to the detail of word choice. But I had the same question Peter had - how is the house her future? I went on the presumption she inherited it until the last two paragraphs. Then I didn't know what it meant.
ReplyDeleteGreat job and good luck!
You had me at "antique." Boom.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with this!
The writing here is great. I love all the details and the tone that's set right from the get-go. As far as action, not alot has happened yet except she's put the key in the door and opened it. If I kept reading I'd want to see something more to move the story pretty quick. Overall, great job. I'd keep reading.
ReplyDeleteDid she inherit the house? If it is just a setting for a photo shoot is it really her future? Enjoyed the writing and the description of the house. I was ready to move in with her.
ReplyDeleteI would take the word "had" out of this sentence "Opportunity hadn't knocked, it had handed her the damn key." Gives it more punch.
I would love to turn the page and keep reading.
5!
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