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Thursday, June 27, 2013

First Sentence #24

TITLE: Chasing Betsy
GENRE: Mainstream Fiction

This is my last trip to the house of crazy.

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47 comments:

  1. J D WayeJune 27, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    YES - because your main character brings a strong voice and wry sense of humour to the start. This makes me wonder what will happen next.

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  2. Christine L. ArnoldJune 27, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Yes.

    This first sentence has really nice voice. It doesn't give much to go on, but just based on the voice alone, I'd keep reading a bit to learn more.

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  3. Leah PetersenJune 27, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    Yes.

    Intriguing and nice voice.

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  4. Sarah AhiersJune 27, 2013 at 9:44 AM

    Yes

    SHort and sweet and perfectly hooky. i would definitely keep reading

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  5. Judy MintzJune 27, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    Yes. Undeniably interesting.

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  6. Maya StarlingJune 27, 2013 at 10:05 AM

    Yes, makes me wonder is the MC just visiting or... and I like the voice.

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  7. ChroJune 27, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    Yes. Makes me curious about the 'house of crazy', and immediately signifies that a unique event is about to occur.

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  8. K CallardJune 27, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    Yes. I want to know what the "house of crazy" is. I also like the voice.

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  9. LanetteJune 27, 2013 at 10:53 AM

    Yes. You had me at "house of crazy".

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  10. greta garboJune 27, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    Yep - very nice.

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  11. MargieJune 27, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    Yes. Love the house of crazy

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  12. AnonymousJune 27, 2013 at 11:01 AM

    Yes. Also I say that every time I visit my family. ;) Great hook. :)

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  13. RobbinJune 27, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Yes. Perfect! Can't wait to meet the cast of characters :)

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  14. Janice SperryJune 27, 2013 at 11:30 AM

    Yes. Just wondering why she's coming to my house. :)

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  15. UnknownJune 27, 2013 at 11:34 AM

    Yes! Love it. Simple, yet it tells me a lot.

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  16. Wade WhiteJune 27, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    Yes. For certain. I laughed. And although I have no idea whether "house of crazy" is an actual place or just a colourful description, I know I have to find out.

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  17. ChristineJune 27, 2013 at 12:40 PM

    Yes! It's short, but it offers great voice and a story question right off the bat.

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  18. erica and christyJune 27, 2013 at 12:53 PM

    Yes! It's short and it well...now that I see the comment before mine, I say, "Ditto!"

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  19. @ilenegoldJune 27, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    Yes! Short and effective with a great voice and the right touch of humor.

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  20. MaggieMayJune 27, 2013 at 1:12 PM

    Yes. We know we're in for a ride.

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  21. HongJune 27, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    Yes, I want to know about the house of crazy!

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  22. VicorvaJune 27, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    Yes, I'm definitely intrigued.

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  23. Caitlin WhitakerJune 27, 2013 at 1:40 PM

    Yes. I'd totally give this a shot.

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  24. Patti KurtzJune 27, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    Yes-- I love "the house of crazy" line.

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  25. SumbeeJune 27, 2013 at 1:48 PM

    Yes. Just Yes. I say this every Thanksgiving.

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  26. AnonymousJune 27, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    Yes, I like it. Sometimes longer isn't always better!

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  27. justJoanJune 27, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    No. I guess it's just me, but it doesn't grab me enough. The house of crazy part is different, but I immediately think asylum--and lose interest.

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  28. will1966June 27, 2013 at 2:35 PM

    Yes... I can already see a great voice shining through.

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  29. JeffOJune 27, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    Yes. There's part of me that doesn't like it, for reasons I can't put my finger on. Then I realize it's because I want more. And isn't that what it's supposed to do?

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  30. amhogganJune 27, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    Yes. I want to know what the house of crazy is and if she's right that this is the last time.

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  31. Iron AngelJune 27, 2013 at 2:52 PM

    Yes. This MC sounds like my kind of person. I'd definitely read on.

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  32. zellarelliJune 27, 2013 at 3:18 PM

    Yes. I like the voice immediately and the promise of a "house-of-crazy."

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  33. SueJayJune 27, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    Yes. I feel I can relate already :)

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  34. KennedyJune 27, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    Yes
    Love it!

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  35. MollyBJune 27, 2013 at 4:55 PM

    Yes. Tells so much, but also leaves many questions. Is this a patient talking? A doctor, a parent? Very intriguing.

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  36. StephscoJune 27, 2013 at 5:52 PM

    Yes--I would read on. Simple with enough of a hook to make me ask why.

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  37. The DieselpunketteJune 27, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    Yes - It's vague but context could be coming quickly, I'd give it a few paragraphs to find out at least. Mainly yes because it's hinting that something's coming rather than so many of these that talk about something that has already happened.

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  38. KOJune 27, 2013 at 7:04 PM

    Looks like I'm in the minority, but I agree with what Joan Stradling said.

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  39. juJune 27, 2013 at 7:10 PM

    yes - loved it

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  40. juJune 27, 2013 at 7:10 PM

    yes - loved it

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  41. Danielle La PagliaJune 27, 2013 at 7:46 PM

    Yes. Like the voice and the hint of conflict.

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  42. Kate LarkindaleJune 27, 2013 at 7:52 PM

    yes. Tells us something about the MC and the situation all in just a few words.

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  43. BarbaraJune 27, 2013 at 9:01 PM

    No-She's telling me it's her last trip, and I'm guessing that next, she's going to explain the situation instead of the story happening. And the house of crazy can be an institution, or her family home filled with a dysfunctional family. I don't know what I'm getting.

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  44. The Kranky CrowJune 27, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    Yes. I appreciate the voice.

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  45. AightballJune 27, 2013 at 10:44 PM

    Yes. You've got my interest with this sentence. Who is this person? What is this house of crazy? And why is it their last trip there? This is something I'd want to see again.

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  46. MimeJune 28, 2013 at 3:43 AM

    Hooked! I want to know what the House of Crazy is! You've totally piqued my interest!

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  47. KayCJune 28, 2013 at 7:21 AM

    Yes. It makes me wonder what the house of crazy is.

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