YES. The main character's voice is so strong, and the premise is intriguing. There are so many ways for events to play out, that it draws me in right away.
Yes! Love it. Defending a lie is a great opener, and liars are almost always interesting and multi faceted folks. Actors—same. PS Also like the title. It suggests something hidden.
Yes. Your character is already justifying something we've been taught is wrong. So I want to know about his/her artistic expression. And why the MC is so defensive at the outset.
Yes. I'm having mixed feelings about the semi-colon (em dash or separate sentence could be interesting, perhaps?), but I love the voice, and am intrigued about the character (makes me wonder if she'll be an unreliable narrator, and it makes me think she's quite dramatic/fun to read about). Also love the title.
Yes, but like KO, I'm troubled by the semi-colon. A dash would set off a short addition better. The semi-colon seems to call for a longer phrase, to make the sentence more balanced.
I almost said no because I also don't care for philosophical statements at the beginning of the book. I gave it a pass because it's so short. But if the rest of the first paragraph is an extended musing on lying, acting, honesty, etc., I'd put the book down.
No--There's no hint of story here. You've given us an interesting statement, but that's all it is without context. The story could be about anything. I'm not drawn in.
Perhaps consider starting with something that actually happens in the story.
Thank you for the yes's and the advice - I appreciate all of it. I had to laugh at myself - I totally thought I made this line up and that there was no way it could be cliche lol!! That's what critique groups are for :) Thanks, again!
Yes. The character's voice is very clear in just a few words.
ReplyDeleteYES. The main character's voice is so strong, and the premise is intriguing. There are so many ways for events to play out, that it draws me in right away.
ReplyDeleteYes. This line made me chuckle, and that's a sure-fire way to get me to read on.
ReplyDeleteYes, nice line.
ReplyDeleteYes, great voice and a great line.
ReplyDeleteYes!
ReplyDeleteLove it. Defending a lie is a great opener, and liars are almost always interesting and multi faceted folks.
Actors—same.
PS Also like the title. It suggests something hidden.
Yes. This suggests an unreliable narrator which makes for a fun read.
ReplyDeleteYes! Love it. Just simple and intriguing.
ReplyDeleteYes. Made me chuckle as well, which would make me keep reading.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who dabbles in acting, this gets a huge yes. Would love to read it.
ReplyDeleteYes. Although, I hope the readers will like the protagonist if she's a liar. A fine line :) But I would read on!
ReplyDeleteyes. Cute and clever--And i've heard this from my little guy.
ReplyDeleteYes. Love it. Lots of voice and character from the start.
ReplyDeleteYes, made me smile and even if I've heard this before, I definitely wanted to know more!
ReplyDeleteYes. It made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteYes. While the concept isn't new, the voice is interesting and the line hints at things to come.
ReplyDeleteYes! 100%. Not a new concept but a perfect begining for YA.
ReplyDeleteYes. Very, very strong voice and a hint of tension/misbehaviour which would pull me on.
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! It's short, concise, interesting. Yes.
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteThough i wonder if it might pack a bigger punch if you flipped it:
If you're acting it's not lying--it's art.
Yes- because I connect with the saying and it made me smile.
ReplyDeleteAfter all these very affirmative "yes" statements, I feel bad that I'm on the fence.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, I guess I didn't love the fact that the story starts with a "saying" in which so many people are familiar.
Yes, I love the voice here and I want to know more.
ReplyDeleteNo. Don't like the use of the cliched saying.
ReplyDeleteYes. You've given us a great glimpse into this character's mind in just a few words.
ReplyDeleteYes. Love the voice...and I giggled. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes. Your character is already justifying something we've been taught is wrong. So I want to know about his/her artistic expression. And why the MC is so defensive at the outset.
ReplyDeleteYes. I love the main character instantly. There's going to be oh so much trouble!
ReplyDeleteYES. It really caught my attention and it sounds like something my 12-year-old would say.
ReplyDeleteYes. We leap right into your voice from the get-go.
ReplyDeleteYes. I'm having mixed feelings about the semi-colon (em dash or separate sentence could be interesting, perhaps?), but I love the voice, and am intrigued about the character (makes me wonder if she'll be an unreliable narrator, and it makes me think she's quite dramatic/fun to read about). Also love the title.
ReplyDeleteNo. Not a fan of opening with philosophical statements. It's telling not showing.
ReplyDeleteYes. It makes me laugh... and it almost feels true. I would like to get to know this character for sure.
ReplyDeleteYes. Awesome way to lay out voice and character and setting.
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteImmediate insight into the thoughts of the MC.
Yes. Would read on. A++
ReplyDeleteYes! The voice is awesome. This opening defense leaves me smiling and eager to read on.
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteYes, but like KO, I'm troubled by the semi-colon. A dash would set off a short addition better. The semi-colon seems to call for a longer phrase, to make the sentence more balanced.
ReplyDeleteI almost said no because I also don't care for philosophical statements at the beginning of the book. I gave it a pass because it's so short. But if the rest of the first paragraph is an extended musing on lying, acting, honesty, etc., I'd put the book down.
Yes. This is a person who justifies his/her actions and those are interesting characters to follow.
ReplyDeleteYes. In one line I already know something important about the character.
ReplyDeleteYes. I'll bite.
ReplyDeleteYes. You've given us the character's voice right out of the gate.
ReplyDeleteYes. Made me smile and gave a great sense of voice.
ReplyDeleteNo: I've heard this saying quite a few times before.
ReplyDeleteNo--There's no hint of story here. You've given us an interesting statement, but that's all it is without context. The story could be about anything. I'm not drawn in.
ReplyDeletePerhaps consider starting with something that actually happens in the story.
Thank you for the yes's and the advice - I appreciate all of it. I had to laugh at myself - I totally thought I made this line up and that there was no way it could be cliche lol!! That's what critique groups are for :) Thanks, again!
ReplyDelete