TITLE: TREBLED TIMES OF CECE SANTOS
GENRE: YA Realistic Fiction
It’s been ten months since I’d last heard from The Stranger. When she first arrived in Chelsea I thought God was smiling down on me. I’d been praying for a miracle, for someone, or something to get me out of the barrio, away from my overbearing Papi, and set me on my music career. The Stranger was someone I thought could finally share my song with, someone who would change my solo into a dazzling duet.
It didn’t happen that way.
Miss Snark's First Victim
This has more of a literary feel than contemporary one, which I like. There's a lot to like about this-- the mysterious stranger, the main character's love for music, we know what her goal is in the first paragraph, and we have a glimpse into the life she currently lives in. However, I don't feel like I'm grounded in the MC's world yet. Because it has a more literary feel, I don't think that's a problem, but you definitely need to ground the readers in the physical scene soon.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this has a more literary vs. genre feel, although by literary, I really mean that there's a lot of telling in the opening sentences, which provides a kind of narrative distance. That can work, but if you are going for a YA audience, you probably need to dive into the scene pretty quickly from here. If you do, great! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThe first line gives this the erie beginning of a mystery. But after that I began to feel that maybe the Stranger was a girl the MC had fallen in love with. I like the line "someone who would change my solo into a dazzling duet". I feel grounded in that the MC is Spanish-speaking, and that he's looking to escape from his oppressive home life. Reads like YA.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I read the MC's voice as a boy, but I see that someone read this as a girl. Something to think about.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really getting "realistic fiction" from this. Maybe it's just me. I think it's The Stranger that is throwing me off, which sounds like someone otherworldly. But I guess you could get literary from that too.
ReplyDeleteI LOVED this opening. I'm always on the lookout for new, fresh settings in the books I read, and this immediately pulled me in. I loved the literary feel of the voice as well, including that we don't hear The Stranger's real name--it made the opening feel a bit like a fairy tale. I would agree that after this, you need to jump into a scene pretty soon, but this was great. I would definitely continue reading.
ReplyDeleteI like this! I agree with other comments -- it does have a literary, grown-up feel to it (but hey -- there ARE young adults out there who want to read this sort of stuff!). I read the MC as female, because of the context and the voice. Perhaps it was the reference to the overbearing Papi (who I could visualise as being overprotective of his daughter) as well as the lyrical "change my solo into a dazzling duet".
ReplyDeleteI've got a clear idea of your MC's approximate age (late teens), ethnicity, home life, and environment, as well as her/his goal. The introduction of the nameless Stranger is intriguing enough to make me want to read more, as is the enigmatic last sentence.
Nice job!
Christina (entry #15)
From this, I know she (or is it a he?...not clear) likes that The Stranger came, even if things have gotten complicated. She also does not like her Papi. I'd like to see more of where this is.
ReplyDeleteOoh I love this opening. It's compelling, and it drew me in with mystery and some cultural details. I would definitely keep reading.
ReplyDelete