TITLE: HOOD
GENRE: YA - Contemporary
Haunted by his role in the death of a friend, Hood Roberts––a teen who navigates between football stardom and the reigning poster boy for bad decisions––becomes a modern day Robin Hood in a small Maine town.
Miss Snark's First Victim
I like this. It sets up the character immediately, and gives a frame of reference for his actions. However, I would remove the italics on 'his'. The line is strong enough without it, and, for me at least, it broke up the flow because I mentally stopped to figure out why it was there. I might also pick something other than 'navigates' as that implies an intention at odds with the concept of making bad decisions. Perhaps something like 'careens', 'ricochets', or 'bounces'.
ReplyDeleteI had the same confusion about the italics. I don't think they serve a purpose. I would also get rid of the character's name. It's odd and at this point doesn't add anything to the nutshell description of the story. You kind of stub your toe on it. I don't see the connection between the death of the friend and becoming a Robin Hood - stealing from the rich to give to the poor. I'd like to know what that connection is.
ReplyDeleteI disagree about removing the name. Names help make these things personal.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that we need a stronger connection between him being haunted and him choosing to act like Robin Hood. How will this "unhaunt" him? Does he have anything to lose if he doesn't do this? Will anyone try to stop him?
Good luck!
Holly
Love the name Hood! It sounds very interesting, but I don't think I get what's really at stake. You hinted at a past conflict, but what happens if he doesn't become a modern-day Robin Hood?
ReplyDeleteLove the concept, but I agree: it's not clear how stealing from the rich to help the poor will ease his guilt over his friend's death. Was his friend poor? Did rich kids kill him? Or is the Robin Hood story being spun in a new way with the rich being the popular kids or the school bullies?
ReplyDeleteA modern day Robin Hood sounds like a fun concept. My instant association is "robs from the rich, gives to the poor." Perhaps the original Robin Hood was motivated by the death of a friend, and I don't know that part of the story. Otherwise, I don't see the character desire relates to the conflict, or what consequences might befall Hood. What (bad) choice does he have to make? Why? What will happen if he succeeds? What will happen if he fails? I love the idea, but need more specific details to get a sense of how you've created a modern Robin Hood story.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a Robin Hood in modern times. That reminds me of the TV series Arrow. However, I did not see the stakes and the story. What happens to him exactly?
ReplyDeleteI love a good Robin Hood story, but I'm unclear how Hood's becoming a modern-day Robin helps him deal with his role in the death of his friend. Can you modify to create a clearer connection between events of the past and his pursuits of the moment?
ReplyDeleteI also agree with others on the italics. The italics made me pause to re-read, thinking I'd missed something.
I love the name. Immediately you know it's going to be a modern day Robin Hood story. I'd like at least a hint of the connection between the death of the friend and the Robin Hood story line. Nice overall. I would definitely want to read it.
ReplyDelete