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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

F2S 33

The seven deadly sins and three apocalyptic horsemen walk into a bar.
Stop me if you've heard this one.

31 comments:

  1. This has a fun beginning. I'm hooked enough to read more.

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  2. Oh stop! Stop!

    It's a personal thing, but telling jokes and asking if I've heard it before is like fingernails scratching on a board for me.

    I'd read on to see if the other person stops the joke or if the teller just plows on no matter what.

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  3. I like the tone set here. I'd read on.

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  4. Weren't there four horsemen, or was that part of the joke?

    I suppose that would make me read on, just because I'd want to see where this is going, but you'd better hook me within a few paragraphs or I'd put it down.

    :) Terri

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  5. The voice is great. Now get busy with the story to back it up!

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  6. This is funny. I would read on.

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  7. I'm hooked.

    But I did note there are 4 horsemen of the apocalypse -- hope that wasn't a mistake

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  8. I'm hooked. This was hilarous! I liked how the second sentence seemed to be talking to the reader.

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  9. I liked this too, although usually I'm not crazy about starting with a question.

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  10. Love it. The informal conversational tone is appealing, and I'm instantly wondering what happened to the fourth horseman. Cool!

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  11. Heh, I liked it a lot. "Keep going," I'd say. "I want to read more."

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  12. I laughed, but I'm not sure how I feel about this as the opening to a novel. I'm not sure if I'd keep reading or not...

    Wow, I bet that was super helpful. :)

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  13. This seems a promising enough beginning. I'd keep reading.

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  14. No... I'm sorry.

    I kinda had the same reaction as Lyon. :i

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  15. Hahaha! So yes. %-) Loved the tone and set up right away. I want to read more!

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  16. By the way, I'm assuming the use of "three" instead of 4 is part of the joke...

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  17. Sorry, but it's a bit corny to start with a joke but not finish it. I wouldn't read any further.

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  18. I don't see how this can transition into a story. Either the MC goes on, which nullifies asking someone to stop him/her, or the MC stops, which nullifies even brining up the joke.

    The voice is slightly interesting but I'm leaning towards not hooked.

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  19. Love it. Very funny. I'd read on to see where it goes. I'm thinking urban fantasy?

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  20. I really want to hear the rest of it!

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  21. Not bad. Since it’s not in quotation marks, I’m assuming the narrator is speaking directly to the reader, which can sometimes feel a tad awkward, but depending on how you spin it, it could work. (<-- talk about a run-on, yeesh! me, not you) Anyway, I would continue reading, mostly because your narrator sounds interesting.

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  22. Love the opening line. Quirky, funny, and unexpected. I'd absolutely read on!

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  23. Love it!

    And I don't recall ever seeing this kind of beginning before....

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  24. Out of 80 entries, there are only two I want to see more of, and this is one of them. I like the casual tone, and anything with sins/horsemen's gotta be good.

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  25. I love wry humour, and a writer who assumes her reader is intelligent enough to know there are four horsemen is definitely going to keep me reading.

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  26. This sounds a little stand-up comedy/slapsticky to me...not personal taste. I'd pass, sorry.

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  27. LOL! I've gotta read at least the first page of anything that smacks me in the face right off the bat with what promises to be a bad joke. :-)

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  28. Just sticking a comment in so I can get email notification of all your worthy comments. Thank you kindly.

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