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Thursday, March 25, 2010

139 YA

TITLE: Kissing Virgins
GENRE: Young Adult


I wore pink Converse to prom. I had a feeling that might be the most comfortable thing about the night.

17 comments:

  1. Hooked, but it feels like the tense is switching...if you wore the Converse already, how can you have a feeling that the night will be uncomfortable? Yet I like the image it puts in my head of pink Converse under a pink frilly dress. Perhaps I'm wrong.

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  2. Agreee about the tense - this is why I find the past tense so hard - but love the image. Would like to know what shade pink, not quite able to visualise.

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  3. Have to say I don't love converse with prom dresses but I love the idea it brings to my mind with this little bit. I would keep reading FOR SURE!

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  4. I'm interested. I'd keep reading.

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  5. I like this, I'd keep reading. The tense throws me a little for some reason but I'd still read on.

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  6. Yeah, I liked this. I'd keep reading.

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  7. My daughter actually did this...well, black converse. I'd read on

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  8. Pink Converse plus a sense of foreboding, I'm hooked! :)

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  9. Almost hooked--it'd depend on the rest of the opening. I liked the detail about pink Converse, though. ;)

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  10. That's a great hook. Love it.

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  11. Thanks to all who have commented! I agree completely with the tense comments. I've been playing with it, but nothing feels right. I'll continue working with it.

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  12. Kinda hard doing future past tense, eh? Worthy effort though.

    Backseat writer comment here:

    'I must have had an inkling that this night would be far from comfortable for me. Maybe that was why I wore my pink *Converse to (the) prom.'

    *Converse is not a well known brand here in Oz. This tripped me up for a moment

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