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Thursday, March 25, 2010

57 Memoir

TITLE: BOUNDARY STREET
GENRE: Memoir


My red satin jacket, a gift from my sisters-in-law in China, caught on the coarse upholstery of my office chair.

17 comments:

  1. Not really hooked. It's clothes and an office chair. I get the feeling it's supposed to be deeper than that, but I'm just not feeling it.

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  2. Nothing one way or the other.

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  3. Nothing really to hook me in yet.

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  4. I love this. I think that it sets up a nice conflict for the character in just a few words -- her traditional/family life and her Chinese roots vs. her working/office life. I like the juxtaposition of the satin and the coarse upholstery, very strong sense impressions right off the bat. Good job.

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  5. Feels a bit clunky. Don't really get a feel for voice, it's all caught up in super-specific details.

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  6. Not hooked. Can't see a jacket getting caught on upholstery, unless said upholstery is cracked, like an open wound.

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  7. My thoughts align with Jodi's. Jacket caught on chair doesn't hook me. I want to know about the main character, not clothing.

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  8. I lovelovelove Chinese-American memoir, and love the juxtaposition. Hooked.

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  9. The contrast between cultures is here, but I think I need the next sentence to strengthen and frame it for me. I'd say not quite hooked unless the second sentence is very strong.

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  10. Thank you all.

    The next sentence reads "So much for red being a lucky color."

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  11. Not hooked. I'm wondering if your MC is Chinese or Chinese American, or if she's Caucasian and just has a sister-in-law who lives in China. Knowing could make the difference for me.

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  12. Not really hooked yet. Sorry.

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  13. Hooked. At least, I'd read more.

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  14. I don't read memoirs. I can't say this hooked me and would make me want to read.

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