The first sentence is great. A 300 year old man isn't. That's meh.
If they've got really juicy legends, give me a better one than that. One that eats children and secretes gold pellets that explode when touched together :)
Not sure about the 300-year-old man part (seems a bit mundane to me to be worthy of the really nice first sentence), but I'd read on to see where this is going.
(It just occurred to me that perhaps only fiction writers would consider something like a 300-year-old man mundane....)
I wouldn't say I'm hooked, but I'd read on a bit. The first line is too "Once upon a time" for my tastes--lacking an identifiable narrator and tension.
I like it. I'd read on, but you better make sure the first paragraphs have some action for me to keep reading.
ReplyDelete:) Terri
I like it. Would like to see some action or hear one of those legends soon after this, though.
ReplyDeleteI'd read on, hoping to hear more about the legend or learn more about the person talking.
ReplyDeleteHeh. And do they have Methuselah in there somewhere too ?
ReplyDeleteI'd read on to see where you are going with this Greene place. "_"
The first sentence is great. A 300 year old man isn't. That's meh.
ReplyDeleteIf they've got really juicy legends, give me a better one than that. One that eats children and secretes gold pellets that explode when touched together :)
"Breeds legends" is very cool. But "small, old New England town" is not worthy of the coolness.
ReplyDeleteWaffling, but I think I'd read on just to see where you are going.
ReplyDeleteNot grabbing me. Too dry--I want to know what's happening before I get the backstory.
ReplyDeleteI don't think a '300 year old man' adds the right amount of zing to 'breeds legend'
ReplyDeleteHowever, 'a small New England town' and 'legends' is an interesting association. I'd read a bit more.
Love it.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the 300-year-old man part (seems a bit mundane to me to be worthy of the really nice first sentence), but I'd read on to see where this is going.
ReplyDelete(It just occurred to me that perhaps only fiction writers would consider something like a 300-year-old man mundane....)
I like it.
ReplyDeleteI'd read on. hoping for more of why this village is so important. But it's sorta boring and needs something more soon.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say I'm hooked, but I'd read on a bit. The first line is too "Once upon a time" for my tastes--lacking an identifiable narrator and tension.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite so far!
ReplyDeleteOooo…. Very Rip Van Winkle-ish. New England and everything. Not totally hooked by the opening.
ReplyDeleteNot bad. It doesn't take me by the throat, but I quite like it and would read on :)
ReplyDelete