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Thursday, March 25, 2010

104 YA Magical Realism

TITLE: Roman Magic, or the Wild Ghoul Affair
GENRE: YA realistic magic


Luminous blue lightning arched, hissed, and sparked. Its energy grew—feeding off Eve’s parents.
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12 comments:

  1. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 4:21 PM

    Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  2. samsevernMarch 25, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    Not hooked. Sorry. ㋡

    ReplyDelete
  3. TamiMarch 25, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    Partial hook. I'd keep reading to find out who Eve was, but right now the pretty description of the magic? is what's got me hooked moreso than the peril to the parents, which may be backwards from how it ought to be.

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  4. Joshua McCuneMarch 25, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    I like it. Nothing like a succubus electrical storm to get the day going.

    ReplyDelete
  5. WyndyDayMarch 25, 2010 at 4:37 PM

    I think I'm hooked. I would read more.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Shannon O'DonnellMarch 25, 2010 at 4:57 PM

    Hooked. Yep! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnassaMarch 25, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    Not hooked. I know I should be feeling danger and worry, but I'm not.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Alex KMarch 25, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    Hooked!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jodi MeadowsMarch 26, 2010 at 6:38 AM

    Not hooked with the first sentence. Too much redundancy. I like the second sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  10. falconesse@gmail.comMarch 26, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Semi-hooked. I'm wondering if it'd flow better if you reworked it as one sentence. The "arched, hissed and sparked" feels a little clunky to me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 9:04 PM

    Almost hooked--too much in the first sentence, though the second one intrigues me.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Cheryl SMarch 27, 2010 at 11:01 PM

    I felt bombarded by the first sentence. The second sentence worked better for me

    ReplyDelete