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Thursday, March 25, 2010

105 Literary Fiction

TITLE: The Secrets of Rare Moon Tickle
GENRE: Literary Fiction

The painted window on the left had a picture of lambs-blood stained doors, a protection for the faithful on the day of the Passover.
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9 comments:

  1. Keren DavidMarch 25, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    A bit too complicated...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shannon O'DonnellMarch 25, 2010 at 5:28 PM

    I think it's a bit wordy for an opener.

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  3. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 6:49 PM

    Too much show, not enough tell. Also not a fan of the title

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  4. Jodi MeadowsMarch 26, 2010 at 6:38 AM

    Not hooked. Snip!

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  5. falconesse@gmail.comMarch 26, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    Semi-hooked. I'd expect longer sentences for literary fiction, so that doesn't turn me off.

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  6. Becky R.March 26, 2010 at 1:41 PM

    A convoluted and poorly constructed sentence. The title hooked me, so I might read the second sentence.

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  7. sbjamesMarch 26, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    I can't grasp the image of a window with a picture of a door. I guess the shutters or the window frame have a door painted upon them- but I can't see that. Sorry, not hooked.

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  8. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 9:03 PM

    Not hooked, sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cheryl SMarch 27, 2010 at 10:58 PM

    I think this might read stronger if we were in the head of the person seeing the window/door - and getting his/her reaction.

    ReplyDelete