Hm. Partial hook. I'd keep reading to see if the voice worked for me, but the concept of anyone "recovering" from being a mythological creature is intriguing.
I'd keep reading for the "recovering mythological creature" idea, but would likely stop if He/She/It was addressing the reader and not another character.
Sorry... I'm not hooked yet. I think the hook would be stronger if you started with the statement ala an AA meeting. :)
Like:
"My name is Zydec. I'm a recovering mythological creature." I fingered the stone hanging from the black rope around my neck, wondering if I needed to say more than that.
LOL. Hooked by the last sentence. If you showed it was a support/therapy meeting and then have the second line of DL (maybe combine it to "Hi, I'm..." since isn't that how it's always done? ;)) and it would be an awesome hook.
Hm. Partial hook. I'd keep reading to see if the voice worked for me, but the concept of anyone "recovering" from being a mythological creature is intriguing.
ReplyDeleteTami keeps getting to these before me!
ReplyDeleteI agree on the voice: It's working now, but will it continue? But the concept is definitely intriguing. I'll keep reading, at least fora bit.
Hooked.
ReplyDeleteI like the concept of a "recovering" mythological creature. I would like to see how it is realised.
Hooked. ^_^ I like the concept and I'd read on to see what the book's about.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Cracked me up.
ReplyDeleteHooked by the concept, but not the words. Not really sure why.
ReplyDeleteI'd keep reading for the "recovering mythological creature" idea, but would likely stop if He/She/It was addressing the reader and not another character.
ReplyDeleteSorry... I'm not hooked yet. I think the hook would be stronger if you started with the statement ala an AA meeting. :)
ReplyDeleteLike:
"My name is Zydec. I'm a recovering mythological creature." I fingered the stone hanging from the black rope around my neck, wondering if I needed to say more than that.
I like the voice and concept. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteYup--"recovering mythological creature" got me. I kept thinking of drunk unicorns, though! (grin)
ReplyDeleteHooked, but I do like Catherine's suggested change above.
ReplyDeleteI got the picture of Zydec in something like an AA meeting already, but a change like that would make it clearer.
Awesome! Love the idea of a "recovering mythological creature".
ReplyDeleteIntrigued. Zydeco is a great name.
ReplyDeleteSorta.
ReplyDeleteI would keep going for a while at least.
ReplyDeleteI think, "My name is Zydeco and I'm a recovering (insert mythological creature)" would hook me more.
ReplyDeleteI agree with some of the others - lead with the AA meeting sentence. Awesome! I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteHooked by the second sentence, not the first.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Hooked by the last sentence. If you showed it was a support/therapy meeting and then have the second line of DL (maybe combine it to "Hi, I'm..." since isn't that how it's always done? ;)) and it would be an awesome hook.
ReplyDeleteI agree the first sentence doesn't hook... but the second does. Maybe switch it around.
ReplyDeleteI'll read on to see if the way you recover from being mythological is interesting.
ReplyDeleteCute hook about the recovering mythological creature. That alone would have me read on
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the first line though.
Like it.
ReplyDeleteSuggest dropping the "hey there. So"
Love it! I think it's fine having the hook in your second sentence as well.
ReplyDelete