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Thursday, March 25, 2010

128 YA Paranormal

TITLE: DESOLATION
GENRE: YA Paranormal


Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but I was born with a pitchfork in my hand. I considered this problem
at

22 comments:

  1. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 4:43 PM

    Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joshua McCuneMarch 25, 2010 at 4:53 PM

    I like.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amy JoMarch 25, 2010 at 4:57 PM

    Well done! I'm hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  4. MHMarch 25, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    This is just my thing. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. TamiMarch 25, 2010 at 5:04 PM

    Love it! Hook for humor and a good, strong MC voice.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMarch 25, 2010 at 5:06 PM

    Ouch. Hard on Mom. Moderately hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  7. shawnawksMarch 25, 2010 at 5:42 PM

    Hooked also! Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnassaMarch 25, 2010 at 5:58 PM

    Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnnaMarch 25, 2010 at 6:03 PM

    A little unsure with this one, though not for any reason I can really speak to. I would definitely give it another paragraph or so, since I like the writer's voice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 6:17 PM

    GRINS. I read this too fast and thought you had "but I was born with a pitchfork in mine".

    I do like the first sentence and am hooked by that alone. Even if the pitchfork was in the hand instead of the mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    catchy, I'm in

    ReplyDelete
  12. SojournerMarch 25, 2010 at 7:18 PM

    Congrats! Hooked despite cliche.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Higley BrowneMarch 25, 2010 at 7:29 PM

    Absolutely hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Juli Page MorganMarch 25, 2010 at 8:28 PM

    Hooked!

    ReplyDelete
  15. ValerieMarch 25, 2010 at 11:34 PM

    Hooked!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jodi MeadowsMarch 26, 2010 at 6:23 AM

    Hehe. Yeah, hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  17. BradMarch 26, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    Got me chuckling right off the bat. Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  18. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    Hah! Yes, hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  19. falconesse@gmail.comMarch 26, 2010 at 4:30 PM

    Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Rebecca T.March 26, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    I like it. Suggestion - get rid of the but and make the first sentence into two. I think this would make it stronger

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousMarch 27, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    Like it.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cheryl SMarch 27, 2010 at 9:43 PM

    Right now it's a guarded hooked.

    I would prefer a more wry comment such as: 'I considered this to be a problem', because it is purely subjective whether the MC's status is or isn't a problem.

    ReplyDelete