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Thursday, March 25, 2010

127 Dark Fantasy

TITLE: THE WHITE PHOENIX
GENRE: Dark Fantasy


Of all the people present that day, a blind woman would be the one to save his sister’s life.
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16 comments:

  1. SteveMarch 25, 2010 at 4:44 PM

    Hooked

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  2. WyndyDayMarch 25, 2010 at 4:44 PM

    Hooked!

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  3. AnonymousMarch 25, 2010 at 4:55 PM

    Hooked.

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  4. TamiMarch 25, 2010 at 5:03 PM

    Hooked. Especially curious as it sounds like there was a crowd and this ONE WOMAN made a difference. Hooked for sure.

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  5. samsevernMarch 25, 2010 at 5:06 PM

    Vampires? You kiddin'?
    HOOKED!! ㋡

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  6. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 6:20 PM

    Sorry, I'm not hooked yet... I'm not sure about the line... it sounds like an incomplete sentence for some reason.

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  7. Keren DavidMarch 25, 2010 at 7:30 PM

    Not hooked. What day? If you tell us the sister's life was saved, you've told us the end of the story..

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  8. Sara J. HenryMarch 25, 2010 at 10:31 PM

    Oh, yeah.

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  9. Jodi MeadowsMarch 26, 2010 at 6:24 AM

    Possibly. It's not ringing quite right for me. But I like the title.

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  10. V.R. LeavittMarch 26, 2010 at 12:21 PM

    Dig it!!

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  11. ChristineMarch 26, 2010 at 1:02 PM

    I like it!

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  12. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 4:21 PM

    Not hooked, sorry. I don't want to be told what WILL happen, I want to see it unfold. This kills all tension for me.

    I like the title, though.

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  13. falconesse@gmail.comMarch 26, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    Partially hooked. I'm hoping that his sister's life being saved is the START of the story, not something we're going to jump back in time and work our way up to.

    Show me how his/her sister's life being saved sets off a string of other events and I'm with you.

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  14. AnonymousMarch 26, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    Thank you all for your advice and comments! :)

    I just wanted to clarify that his sister's life being saved is something that occurs within the first few pages of the story and is also the moment that triggers a series of events. It isn't the end of the novel, but I understand why some may think that since I referred to the day as "that day" instead of "this day" (which was something I was debating before).

    I hope that makes more sense. :)

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  15. feywriterMarch 26, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Great title. If the chapter continues to focus and goes into more detail on that event, I'm hooked. I'd be disappointed if it was referring to something way in the past or later in the book.

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  16. RobbinMarch 28, 2010 at 12:16 AM

    Find this to be a cliche.

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