I like this. Letting us know right away that you're dropping us into an interesting cultural milieu, not to mention a rather awkward situation. I'd read on.
The only thing I wonder is if "in a house with a Christmas tree" is a bit bland. Maybe "bathed in the blinking lights from a Christmas tree" or "with her nostrils full of the piney scent of a Christmas tree" or something else to capture the moment.
Again, not my genre but I'm almost hooked--I like the lines, but it would depend a lot on what the scene following was. If she sits and reminisces, no. If something happens and the scene is active and engaging, I would probably read on.
I've seen this before...I liked it then and I like it now..
ReplyDeleteYes, hooked.
ReplyDeleteso hooked :)
ReplyDeleteI like this. Letting us know right away that you're dropping us into an interesting cultural milieu, not to mention a rather awkward situation. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I wonder is if "in a house with a Christmas tree" is a bit bland. Maybe "bathed in the blinking lights from a Christmas tree" or "with her nostrils full of the piney scent of a Christmas tree" or something else to capture the moment.
ReplyDeleteHooked!
ReplyDeleteI've seen this before also and I was hooked then, and I'm hooked now.
ReplyDeletehaha, I've seen this one too and I think I know where.
ReplyDeleteIt's a great opening sentence!
Definitely hooked.
ReplyDeleteYou grabbed me.
ReplyDeleteVery hooked. There is so much information packed into such a short clear bit.
ReplyDeleteMaybe.
ReplyDeleteYou've packed a lot in - very clearly - in a brief opener. Oh, yes, it works.
ReplyDeleteAgain, not my genre but I'm almost hooked--I like the lines, but it would depend a lot on what the scene following was. If she sits and reminisces, no. If something happens and the scene is active and engaging, I would probably read on.
ReplyDeleteYes, I read this before and liked it.. still like it.
ReplyDeleteI read this one before and I loved it then. I've even quoted it to colleagues as an example of a really punchy start.
ReplyDeleteStill love it
Hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDelete