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Thursday, March 25, 2010

34 Regency Romance

TITLE: Untitled
GENRE: Regency romance


Someone knew her identity.

Caro entered the torture chamber, the smell of sex and candle wax knotting her stomach. Angry tears ached behind her lids.
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14 comments:

  1. UnknownMarch 25, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    I wouldn't read on.
    Maybe if it was simpler-so much going on. Someone knows her identity, there's torture, sex, smell of candles, and angry tears. I don't know what to focus on.

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  2. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 10:02 AM

    Torture and sex in the same sentence - eek. Also, regency romance? Oh genre, how you've changed...

    Probably not hooked.

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  3. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 10:34 AM

    Torture and sex? Not hooked. Not my thing.

    Can tears ache?

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  4. MomwomanMarch 25, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    I don't want torture and sex from a Regency romance. I want white gloves and controlled longing. Sorry.

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  5. SelestialMarch 25, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    The genre is throwing me here. I don't read regency, but this definitely isn't what I'd expect.

    IF I discount genre and just look at the snippet, I'm intrigued and might read a bit more, but if the genre is correct, probably not much more.

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  6. A.L. SonnichsenMarch 25, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    The allusion to sex in a torture chamber seemed out of place. I'd be afraid to read on, personally. But that's just me.

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  7. Beth C.March 25, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    Like some of the others, seeing a regency romance mention sex and a torture chamber in the first line is a bit of a turn-off. It's just not my sort of thing.

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  8. SophiaMarch 25, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    The problem for me was trying to identify the emotion I'm supposed to feel as I read about the character. If her identity is exposed, she'd feel fear? Horror? The smells make her stomach knot in what? Fear? Loathing? Disgust? Excitement? Then she's ready to drop angry tears. At the beginning, give the reader one predominate emotion to feel; you can layer others in later, of course.

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  9. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    I've never read a regency romance so I don't know if it fits the genre. But I do tend to go for the dark and creepy.

    And yet, this doesn't hook me. She's a woman on the verge of tears (why are they always in tears in romances?) And tears can't be angry nor can they ache. Rephrase your last sentence and show me a woman with strength and I'll dive into the torture chamber with her.

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  10. IrisMarch 25, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    Well, I recently read the Kushiel trilogy, so torture and sex are not something to immediately turn me off at present (although, how does torture *smell*?). However, regency romans, sex and torture?

    I think the genre is wrong.

    Not hooked, but would give it a few more lines.

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  11. steveMarch 25, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    Not hooked at all; what struck me were "aching tears." That sort of characterization just doesn't work for me.

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  12. samsevernMarch 25, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    WOW! HOOKED!!
    A whole lotta crazy sh** happening here, and I can't wait to see n' hear MORE! ㋡

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  13. AislinnMarch 25, 2010 at 8:09 PM

    When I think of "Regency romance" this is most definitely not what comes to mind. Doesn't strike me as my kind of thing. Sorry.

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  14. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 10:07 PM

    Not really hooked (I had to double check the genre to see if I read it right).

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