Pages

▼

Thursday, March 25, 2010

51 Regency Romance

TITLE: A Tale of Two Sisters
GENRE: Regency Historical Romance


William Battencliffe wagers five thousand pounds that Miss Julia St. Clair will become the next Countess of Clivesden.

Benedict's fingers constricted about the quill.
at

17 comments:

  1. Juli Page MorganMarch 25, 2010 at 10:08 AM

    I have to say this didn't really hook me. For me, there's a little too much going on - three names and a title all in the first 25 words. Since I like romance, I'd probably read on, but not because of this first bit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    I'm possibly hooked. I don't care for the title though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MomwomanMarch 25, 2010 at 10:45 AM

    Good Regency-styke writing. I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    Hmmmm....maybe a few more lines.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sandra Ulbrich AlmazanMarch 25, 2010 at 12:10 PM

    I'd read on a little longer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. KateeMarch 25, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    I'd read a little longer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sara J. HenryMarch 25, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  8. PortiaMarch 25, 2010 at 3:05 PM

    Hooked. This is well done and aligns with the genre, in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Shannon O'DonnellMarch 25, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    I'd read more. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 3:54 PM

    Interesting start, but I'd also like to know who he's betting against - Julia herself? Benedict? or someone else? I'd read more to find out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. ValerieMarch 25, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    I like the title. But the second sentence confuses me... or well, loses me, I guess. Is there a better way to say he tightened his grip on the quill? Constricted just seems awkward for how someone would hold a pen.

    ReplyDelete
  12. melody colleenMarch 25, 2010 at 5:08 PM

    I really like this. Definitely would read more.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMarch 26, 2010 at 1:33 AM

    Don't like the title. Tale of Two Cities. Too close.

    Hard to say on the rest. You really need a whole para before you can make a judgment on this. But I reckon in a paragraph I'd get the measure of whether I am hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  14. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 9:45 PM

    Hrm, I would read on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lucy WoodhullMarch 27, 2010 at 3:14 PM

    That's a lot of names. I might read on, but "Countess of Clivesden" sounds super-duper made up. So does Battencliffe. I'm sorry if they're not (if they are historical/actual family names), but they make me chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  16. SelestialMarch 27, 2010 at 9:54 PM

    Not my genre. If I read this sort of thing, it might grab me a bit, but there isn't enough here to snag me as a new reader

    ReplyDelete
  17. RobbinMarch 28, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    I liked the opening sentence...and normally I don't like a lot of names at the beginning but this worked for me.

    The 2nd one killed it.

    ReplyDelete