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Thursday, March 25, 2010

6 Upper YA UF

TITLE: The Devil You Know
GENRE: Upper YA Urban Fantasy



The doctors were going to kill me if I didn’t get out of here. They wouldn’t mean to, but their intentions wouldn’t change the result
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26 comments:

  1. angelareneMarch 25, 2010 at 9:15 AM

    Hooked..

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  2. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 9:21 AM

    Yep.

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  3. Kate LacyMarch 25, 2010 at 9:21 AM

    Like it - interested in the medical setting and the 'condition'

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  4. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    I like the first sentence. That is a keeper and a definite hook.

    But I kept stumbling over the second sentence. Wouldn'tX2 bothering my eyes possibly. Maybe rephrase to something more like:

    "They had good intentions, but those wouldn't change the ending result."

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  5. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 9:33 AM

    Hooked.

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  6. Adam HeineMarch 25, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    Hooked. "They wouldn't mean to" gives it a voice I like.

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  7. Deb SmytheMarch 25, 2010 at 9:43 AM

    Oh yeah!

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  8. ClaireMarch 25, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    Not hooked....seemed like it should read "didn't get out of THERE" instead of "here" and I got caught up in that. Took me out of the story.

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  9. Sandy WilliamsMarch 25, 2010 at 10:10 AM

    I like this beginning. I think the writing could be tighter, tho, or different in same way, but I'd read on. Good job!

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  10. Kitty DuCaneMarch 25, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    semi-hooked

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  11. Kristi FaithMarch 25, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    You have me curious!

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  12. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    Hooked.

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  13. KateeMarch 25, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Color me curious.

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  14. Beth C.March 25, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Hooked.

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  15. Chantal KirklandMarch 25, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    I'm in. Hooked.

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  16. Valerie KempMarch 25, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    I'm definitely interested. I agree with what others said about the tenses and the second sentence - it was a little awkward to me. Would love it if you showed this scene rather than told us about it (like where is the narrator? what are they feeling?) but I'm intrigued with the concept!

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  17. Moira YoungMarch 25, 2010 at 1:28 PM

    I've heard this title used elsewhere, but I like the opening. I'd read on a bit more.

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  18. Ash. ElizabethMarch 25, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    hooked!

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  19. Vicki RochoMarch 25, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    I like the title, and would have to keep reading to find out how and why the doctors were going to kill him.

    Hooked.

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  20. Carolyn Chambers ClarkMarch 25, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    Who is speaking?Get out of where? Don't care what the doctor's intentions are. I want to care about the protag...

    Not hooked

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  21. ValerieMarch 25, 2010 at 3:07 PM

    I really like this. I'd read on.

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  22. melody colleenMarch 25, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    I would have to keep reading.

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  23. A.L. SonnichsenMarch 25, 2010 at 8:21 PM

    I'd keep reading.

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  24. SueMarch 26, 2010 at 4:50 AM

    This has tense issues and in all honesty I'd be reluctant to pick up a book that starts out mixing tenses.

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  25. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 10:28 PM

    I like it and would read on (not fond of the title, though).

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  26. RobbinMarch 28, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    Not a big fan of openers that read like summaries

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