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Thursday, March 25, 2010

7 YA Chick Lit

TITLE: My Own Summer
GENRE: YA Chick-Lit


A piece of paper. It's what started and ended this whole mess. One little piece of paper that would change my whole life.
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29 comments:

  1. Holly BodgerMarch 25, 2010 at 9:16 AM

    I would re-word this slightly, but am definitely hooked.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 25, 2010 at 9:16 AM

    I'm intrigued...I'd keep reading, and I'm generally more fantasy than chick-lit. Nicely done!

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  3. angelareneMarch 25, 2010 at 9:18 AM

    Hooked..

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  4. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 9:22 AM

    Mm, maybe. Close? I'd read on to see where it went.

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  5. SelestialMarch 25, 2010 at 9:24 AM

    I'd give it a little more to see if we find out what the piece of paper is soon. If not, I'm not sure I'd keep going.

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  6. Barbara WeitzMarch 25, 2010 at 9:26 AM

    Consider a litte wordsmithing, but hooked.

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  7. Amy Sue NathanMarch 25, 2010 at 9:32 AM

    You'd have a great hook if this was one short sentence. Reworking it will do this.

    Good luck!

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  8. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    Semi-hooked. I would be interested to see what the piece of paper was (diploma, birth certificate, letter, advertisement...) as the possibilities are endless and interesting. And I like YA.

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  9. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 9:35 AM

    Almost not hooked. The third sentence, imo, belabored the point. I'd give it a couple more sentences.

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  10. Deb SmytheMarch 25, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    Not quite hooked. Agree with Fairchild, 2nd and 3rd sentence say the same thing.

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  11. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 9:56 AM

    a little intrigued, but not totally hooked

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  12. ClaireMarch 25, 2010 at 10:07 AM

    Intrigued. Would read on.

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  13. Sandy WilliamsMarch 25, 2010 at 10:12 AM

    I liked the beginning, but felt myself wanting to tweak the words a bit for flow. Like:

    "A piece of paper. That's what started and ended this whole mess. One little piece of paper changed my whole life."

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  14. EmilyRMarch 25, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    Very close, for me. Nice hook. I'd suggest combining into two sentences, so you're not belaboring the point.

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  15. LaurieMarch 25, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    I want to know what's on that paper so I'd keep reading.

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  16. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    So far hooked.

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  17. DK WhismanMarch 25, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    Yeah, curious to see what's on that paper. So I'd read on.

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  18. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    Not hooked. The second sentence tells me everything has already happened (Because it began and ended) and she's going to tell me about it. I don't want to be told. I want to be there.

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  19. Chantal KirklandMarch 25, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    I'm hooked. This is very much an awesome start.

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  20. Steena HolmesMarch 25, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    hooked

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  21. Valerie KempMarch 25, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    I would definitely read on. Like someone else said, I'd change "It's" to "That's" in the second sentence.

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  22. Joshua McCuneMarch 25, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    I'd read on.

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  23. Vicki RochoMarch 25, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    Curious about the paper - but not hooked. I've seen this approach before - a piece of paper changing the course of your life - so the next few sentences would be key.

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  24. Ash. ElizabethMarch 25, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    i'd read on, even though it sounded a tad cliche.

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  25. Carolyn Chambers ClarkMarch 25, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    I think paper has been used before (The Note) and seems overly-dramatic, especially last sentence...Not hooked

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  26. NikkiMarch 25, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    Interesting. A letter? A report card? I would definitely read on.

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  27. carol Newman CroninMarch 25, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    A life-changing piece of paper could be a cliche depending on next sentence.

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  28. melody colleenMarch 25, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    Not quite hooked with this one. Sorry.

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  29. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 10:27 PM

    Not quite hooked, sorry.

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