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Thursday, March 25, 2010

93 Historical Romance

TITLE: First Impressions
GENRE: Historical Romance


The world was shaking.

I gripped the scratchy fabric of the airplane seat hard with my nails, bit my lip between my teeth, and prayed.
at

11 comments:

  1. Joshua McCuneMarch 25, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    Not hooked - the world shaking makes me think MC's on the ground, but then you go into the airplane... huge disconnect for me.

    I like the idea of starting w/ the shaking airplane, though -- definitely plays on a fairly common fear.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 25, 2010 at 4:10 PM

    I'm hooked, but with the same question--is the plane shaking or is the world shaking?

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  3. Gracie Bea WintertonMarch 25, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    Hooked. Okay, my eyes skipped past first line but I loved the second. Maybe cut "the world was shaking?"

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  4. Luc2March 25, 2010 at 5:03 PM

    You can also cut "between my teeth". The verb "biting" implies that.

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  5. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 6:43 PM

    Hooked

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  6. AislinnMarch 25, 2010 at 8:28 PM

    I'm too busy wondering what an airplane is doing in a historical. Sorry.

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  7. UnknownMarch 25, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    Not hooked. Raised too many questions in my mind as I read.

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  8. Jodi MeadowsMarch 26, 2010 at 6:49 AM

    Kinda hooked.

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  9. ND_GreenMarch 26, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    Hm. I guess I'm in the "kinda" camp. The words didn't stick out to me in any major way, but I would want to read on to see what happens to the MC.

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  10. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    If you tightened it a bunch, I might be hooked.

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  11. Cheryl SMarch 28, 2010 at 2:44 AM

    'My world was shaking' might make this more of a personal experience.

    I agree that there are redundancies in the phrases about gripping and biting

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