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Thursday, April 22, 2010

50 Words #47

TITLE: The Mistake
GENRE: Thriller

Against the advice of my mentor, I keep a gun in my drawer. Harvey says a lawyer with a gun in his desk will eventually use it either on a client or on himself. Harvey's almost sixty and thinks he knows everything.

I open the drawer and reach for it.
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24 comments:

  1. KristinApril 22, 2010 at 12:29 PM

    Oh my I am hooked. Great opening.

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  2. Steena HolmesApril 22, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    Great job!

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  3. Buffy AndrewsApril 22, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    Good opening. Would definitely read on. Is Harvey right or not? Gotta see.

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  4. Lori LundquistApril 22, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    Hooked. And I like the title.

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  5. Krista Van DolzerApril 22, 2010 at 1:42 PM

    Yep, I'm hooked, too. Nice job.

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  6. Steve HallApril 22, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    Hooked.

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  7. Crystal R.April 22, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    Good opening . . . I'm hooked!

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  8. Jill WheelerApril 22, 2010 at 2:39 PM

    Hooked. I'm especially interested because the title makes me think he's going to do something terrible.

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  9. PortiaApril 22, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    Love it! Great start, I'm hooked. Very well done.

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  10. rheaApril 22, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    Hooked.

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  11. fairchildApril 22, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    Good voice. I'd read on.

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  12. TKAstleApril 22, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    Hooked. Nice job.

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  13. Maggie MarrApril 22, 2010 at 4:33 PM

    Hooked. Nice opening.

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  14. ValApril 22, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    I'd definitely read on. ^_^

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  15. jjdebenedictisApril 22, 2010 at 5:13 PM

    Hooked, although there's a disjointedness about this that I find troubling.

    However, the impression that disjointedness gives me is that the main character is mentally a bit unhinged. If that's what you're trying to get across, it works well.

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  16. AnonymousApril 22, 2010 at 6:46 PM

    I really like this and want to know which option the main character takes - uses the gun on himself or a client

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  17. IrisApril 22, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    Hooked. Would definitely read more.

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  18. Amanda the AspiringApril 22, 2010 at 7:58 PM

    I like this. The second sentence is cleverly worded, and I really want to know why he's reaching for this gun. Good job.

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  19. JPApril 22, 2010 at 9:18 PM

    Clean. Hooked.

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  20. Sarah LaurensonApril 22, 2010 at 11:49 PM

    Hooked.

    Nice job.

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  21. ClaireApril 23, 2010 at 1:12 AM

    Hooked! Great set up.

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  22. ClaireApril 23, 2010 at 1:13 AM

    OMG--I just realized this was in present tense. It takes some good writing for me to miss that!

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  23. Sharon K. MayhewApril 23, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    I'm hooked...

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  24. BronApril 24, 2010 at 6:08 AM

    This is the first one that has hooked me (I am reading them in backwards order though).

    ReplyDelete