Pages

▼

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August First Line Grabber #10

TITLE: The Memory Jug
GENRE: YA

I was the second person in my family to get struck by lightning.

at

83 comments:

  1. HeidiAugust 8, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    Yes. Family-based, statistically unlikely natural occurrences make me hope for magical realism, which I like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LanetteAugust 8, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    Yes. Sounds fun and quirky.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lydia NetzerAugust 8, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    Yes. I immediately want to see a scene -- the first person getting struck, this person getting struck... and because getting struck by lightning is inherently interesting I automatically feel like this narrator has a good story to tell me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousAugust 8, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    Yes. It's rare to be struck by lightning, and extraordinary to be the second in the same family to have been struck. I also love that the narrator is one of the victims, I automatically trust that he/she will explain the mystery behind the lightning strikes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. erinAugust 8, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Yes. I like the voice right off the bat, and starting with family gives it a really warm feel for me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. B.E. SandersonAugust 8, 2012 at 10:58 AM

    Yes. But I'm kind of meh about it. I want to know more, but it better deliver within the next couple sentences.

    ReplyDelete
  7. RoanAugust 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Yes. Very intriguing. It doesn't give anything away, but the first sentence is still very understandable.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stacey HaysAugust 8, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    Yes. I want to know how that is even possible.

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownAugust 8, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    Yes. I want to know what the connection is with MC's character and lightning.

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownAugust 8, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    Yes. The addition of just the little bit of back story here boosts this up to intriguing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Judy MintzAugust 8, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    Yes. Absolutely want to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Stephanie GarberAugust 8, 2012 at 11:24 AM

    No. I have a hard time with sentences like this because they are usually followed by a lot of backstory. It also makes me think of STRUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Janice SperryAugust 8, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    Yes. I'd like to know more about the family.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousAugust 8, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    Yes. Sounds like there's something interesting going on here..

    ReplyDelete
  15. Stacey TrombleyAugust 8, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    Yes. Interesting, I want to know more. Simple as that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousAugust 8, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    No. Using the word "was" made it too passive for me, even if I was intrigued - if you'd written it "I am the second person..." I might feel a little more attached to the mc.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Shakier AnthemAugust 8, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    Yes. Definitely a unique first line, and I'm curious to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ElectraCuteAugust 8, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    Yes. Low probability events can be interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  19. SusieAugust 8, 2012 at 12:08 PM

    Yes, I want to hear about this family.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Katie DunnAugust 8, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    YES because what is it about her family that people get struck by lightning? AND how did she survive?!?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Becky MahoneyAugust 8, 2012 at 12:20 PM

    Yes! Love it. Simple and to the point.

    ReplyDelete
  22. misstanteAugust 8, 2012 at 12:29 PM

    yes. i immediately want to know this story

    ReplyDelete
  23. Amanda HAugust 8, 2012 at 12:30 PM

    Yes. Almost implies that getting struck by lightning is genetic, though of course it's not. Original, and I want to read on.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Charlee HoffmanAugust 8, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    No. It reminds me of another book. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  25. EmmaAugust 8, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    Yes, strange and interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  26. A.J.August 8, 2012 at 12:38 PM

    Yes, I want to know what happened with both lightning strikes.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Holly BodgerAugust 8, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Yes, although I'm not sure about the past tense. Is the narrator dead?

    ReplyDelete
  28. I Write for ApplesAugust 8, 2012 at 12:51 PM

    Yes. Has me curious right from the get-go. Why did this happen and what does it mean?

    ReplyDelete
  29. ChroAugust 8, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    Yes. This doesn't really tell me what's going on, but I'm interested enough by the uniqueness of this to read at least until the end of the first page.

    ReplyDelete
  30. MilhaudAugust 8, 2012 at 1:12 PM

    Yes. I would read on!

    ReplyDelete
  31. DJAugust 8, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Yes, because you know there's a story there.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AlainaAugust 8, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    Yes, because I want to know how that happened.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Bill ScottAugust 8, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Yes. I need to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Lori AAugust 8, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    Yes. I would read on.

    ReplyDelete
  35. UtsavAugust 8, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    Yes, awesome line. Way to play on Lightning strikes twice.

    ReplyDelete
  36. PlumbagoAugust 8, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    Yes.

    I want to know if both lived and if they got superpowers or were injured.

    But offhand I can think of two recent titles that have a similar premise so this really needs to standout.

    And I sure hope the next lines aren't backstory.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Vicki TremperAugust 8, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    YES. You were struck by lightning? And it's already happened in your family? Yeah, I want to know the details.

    ReplyDelete
  38. SMKraftyAugust 8, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    Yes. Immediate curiosity about being the second in the family.

    ReplyDelete
  39. JadeAugust 8, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    Yes
    Made me laugh - nice humor.

    ReplyDelete
  40. JaneDoeAugust 8, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    Yes. Good start.

    ReplyDelete
  41. zolosoloAugust 8, 2012 at 2:19 PM

    Yes. Getting struck by lightning is an okay start but 'second person' grabbed me.

    ReplyDelete
  42. A Little PushAugust 8, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Yes, interesting idea, but the first line is just telling, instead of showing us anything about the scene.

    ReplyDelete
  43. StephscoAugust 8, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  44. R.A.DesiletsAugust 8, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    Yes, but also borderline no.

    Depending on the premise of your story as a whole - genre "YA" doesn't give me much there - will really make this a yes for me.

    In short, yes.
    In length, I'd really like to know the specific genre.

    ReplyDelete
  45. StephscoAugust 8, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    Yes, I am intrigued about the lightning and I want to see how it relates to the title.

    ReplyDelete
  46. JillAugust 8, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    Yes, it's a unique start and I'd like to see where the story goes.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Heather HawkeAugust 8, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    Yes - I'm intrigued to find out whether this is a coincidence or not.

    ReplyDelete
  48. jnAugust 8, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    Yes. I immediately wanted to know why that fact is relevant,and if it meant physical lightning or metaphorical lightning.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Shannon SchurenAugust 8, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    Yes. I definitely want to know more about both lightning strikes.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Leah PetersenAugust 8, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Yes. Made me laugh and want to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  51. UnknownAugust 8, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    Yes. Could go in so many different directions. Very intriguing. I would almost HAVE to read more.

    ReplyDelete
  52. JasmineAugust 8, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    Yes.
    Funny and interesting :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. MelindaAugust 8, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Yes, simple, but interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Marianne SuAugust 8, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    Yes. This grabs my interest to keep reading.

    ReplyDelete
  55. foxfyreAugust 8, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    Yes. This hints at there being a reason for her family to be lightning-strike-prone, and I'd like to see what it is. I hope it doesn't immediately launch into flashbacks and bog down.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Kelsey (Dominique) RidgeAugust 8, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    Yes. It's not a hard yes, but the idea amused me, and so I'd keep going to see if it stayed interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  57. The Kranky CrowAugust 8, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Petre PanAugust 8, 2012 at 6:10 PM

    Yes--this doesn't happen every day, and I already know a little about the story's plot.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Brad StricklandAugust 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    I'd volt for this!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Shiela Calderón BlankemeierAugust 8, 2012 at 7:01 PM

    YES! Statistically unusual and intriguing. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  61. AnonymousAugust 8, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    Yes. Who was the first? Unusual x 2. The author has my interest.

    ReplyDelete
  62. The Kranky CrowAugust 8, 2012 at 7:15 PM

    Yes. Sometimes there's not a clear reason why something grabs me. This just did. It's to the point, different, and I want to know the story, not only of this character, but of the one who met up with lightning first.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Anita SaxenaAugust 8, 2012 at 8:13 PM

    Yes. How often does that happen?!?

    ReplyDelete
  64. AnonymousAugust 8, 2012 at 8:18 PM

    Yes. I want to know what the connection is.

    ReplyDelete
  65. UnknownAugust 8, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    Yes--though I'd hope the next few sentences gave me some clue as to how the MC felt about this. The first sentence is very clinical.

    ReplyDelete
  66. UnknownAugust 8, 2012 at 9:21 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  67. stinkybAugust 8, 2012 at 9:22 PM

    Yes. Sounds interesting. I want to know more about this person and their family.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Mary HolmAugust 8, 2012 at 9:28 PM

    Yes. Intriguing and makes me want to know more about this unlucky family.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Stacy McKitrickAugust 8, 2012 at 10:25 PM

    Yes. Makes me want to find out more about this family.

    ReplyDelete
  70. MeganAugust 8, 2012 at 10:28 PM

    Yes. I want to know more about this family!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Abbe HogganAugust 9, 2012 at 12:37 AM

    Yes. Clear, direct, and raises interesting questions.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Tori SchindlerAugust 9, 2012 at 2:50 AM

    Yes. A statistical anomaly, fun.

    ReplyDelete
  73. JennAugust 9, 2012 at 7:19 AM

    Yes. I'd read hoping for a strange family tale.

    ReplyDelete
  74. HeatherAugust 9, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    Yes.

    This had that intriguing bit of twist I look for. I would change "was" to "am," though. Unless the narrator is dead, he's still the second person....

    ReplyDelete
  75. WendyAugust 9, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    A grabber is supposed to, well, grab a reader's attention. This one certainly grabbed my attention.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Danielle La PagliaAugust 9, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    Yes. It's so completely off the wall in a unique way. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  77. CherylAugust 9, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    Yes. Funny and slightly horrifying. Also, I like books about families.

    ReplyDelete
  78. BarbaraAugust 9, 2012 at 7:34 PM

    No. Show me. Don't tell me.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Gina ZanickyAugust 9, 2012 at 9:01 PM

    Yes. Interesting thought.

    ReplyDelete
  80. AightballAugust 9, 2012 at 10:41 PM

    Yes. This is something curious to me, since while it does happen, it's not a common occurrence.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Britney GulbrandsenAugust 9, 2012 at 11:35 PM

    Yes. What are the odds? I need to know the story behind this.

    ReplyDelete
  82. UnknownAugust 10, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    Yes. You have to wonder what's going on!

    ReplyDelete
  83. UnknownAugust 11, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    Yes! Very intriguing.

    ReplyDelete