Pages

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August First Line Grabber #29

TITLE: Beanblossom Versus Bombastic Bandits
GENRE: MG mystery

Up until that fateful Friday the Thirteenth, Jacob Beanblossom's claim to fame had been the ability to fart on cue.

92 comments:

  1. YES. It is funny and it makes me wonder what happened that Friday the 13th.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. I had to put myself into the mindset of the intended audience, but once I did that, I could see how this line would grab the reader.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes. This is amusing and hints at more that will keep me going.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes. I can see MG readers digging the humor and have to admit, I'm a little intrigued myself.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes because it makes me wonder what his new claim to fame will be.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes. You would have an MG reader hooked with that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes. This made me chuckle. I also really liked your title.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes. Appropriate middle grade humor.

    ReplyDelete
  9. No. My son would laugh and read it, but I'm turned off by potty humor.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes. His name is beanblossom and he farts on cue.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes. This made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes. While it doesn't appeal to me, I'm sure it would appeal to my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  13. YES. I want to know what happened. Did he stop being able to fart on cue? Did some other ability show up? And what does it have to do with Friday the 13th?

    ReplyDelete
  14. No. It's funny, but I can't tell if the events of this friday the 13th means that he will no longer be able to fart on cue, or if he will from then on have a more important claim to fame.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yes. But I might consider changing the word Fateful. I almost stopped reading because I thought it was going to take a generic turn but then the end of the sentence was like POW!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yes. I think it has great voice for MG.

    ReplyDelete
  17. YES! Hilarious and sets a great tone.

    ReplyDelete
  18. No. But probably just a taste thing. Really not into farting on cue.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yes. While "farting on demand" isn't high on my "List of things I find appealing," this is funny and intriguing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yes. It's funny, and I like the voice.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yes.

    It works for MG. Anything else and I'd say no in a heartbeat. Farts don't exactly interesting me, but of course, in this case, that's not the point.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes. For MG, farting on cue is giggle-worthy, and that's usually enough to keep kids reading... and okay, I giggled, too.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yes. Because it will appeal to its intended audience. But I expect the next sentences to move us forward in the story, not expand on his farting ability.

    ReplyDelete
  24. yes. strong voice and wry humor already

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes. I have the feeling my students would love this already. Great voice.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh yes, because I never grew up and can appreciate unusual talents.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yes. I need to know what his new talent is.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yes. If this was YA, I would say no, but as a MG novel, this will probably catch several MG readers attention.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yes. This fits the intended audience perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  30. No. Like someone else said, it's a taste thing.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yes. It's a weird enough statement to capture my attention of only for a few more lines.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Yes. Love the voice, love the title and the names. It's got character and a quirky voice.

    ReplyDelete
  33. No. Probably just not my genre; not really amused or interested in that 'talent'.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yes. Children love farts. I don't know why, but it's true nevertheless.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yes, for MG readers and the great name Jabob Beanblosson

    ReplyDelete
  36. Yes. I totally snort-laughed, and that was BEFORE I saw it was MG! Great voice.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Yes. Farting is funny.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Yes. Has the premonition prevalent in middle grade writing and the level of humor would definitely appeal to kids, I'd think.

    ReplyDelete
  39. YES - Made me laugh & seems like great MG voice.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Yes. It you up for something more and perfect for MG.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Yes, it's funny and seems appropriate to the genre.

    ReplyDelete
  42. No. There's something off=-putting for me about the words "that fateful Friday the Thirteenth." It feels forced.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Yes, seems funny and appropriate for the intended audience.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Yes
    Seems quirky and fun.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yes - this has "boy" written all over it...

    ReplyDelete
  46. Yes! Funny, and love the appropriate name, Beanblossom.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Yes.
    Great MG voice and humor right off the bat. Win win.

    ReplyDelete
  48. No. Not fond of scatology. The title makes me fear the story is built around the fart joke.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Yes. While I normally don't go for potty humor, this is quirky enough to make me keep reading.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Yes. It's funny, and gives me an insight into the importance of Friday the 13th and the character's development.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Yes. I want to know what the new claim to fame is, and why that particular Friday the 13th was "fateful."

    ReplyDelete
  52. Yes. Great MG voice, plus it's intriguing.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Yes. I like the name and in how this person will surpass his prior claim to fame.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Yes. I agree that it's great for MG. The repetition of 'f' either intrigues me and enhances the giggles or turns me off with its over-doing-it silliness, not sure which, though.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Yes. This is funny and attention grabbing in a non-obvious way (as in not JUST to shock the reader). Farting is right on track for MG readers, too.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Yes, it has a distinct voice.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Yes, but I'd take out Friday the 13th reference and simply say "Jacob Beanblossom's claim to fame used to be the ability to fart on cue." The connection to date can come next.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Yes. It made me laugh, and it makes me want to know more about this character.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Yes, if I were the target audience, because it appeals to the gross humor of their age!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Yes. But I'd get rid of the word fateful.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Yes. I'm not that into farts, but most middleschoolers are. Suggests humor and a strong voice.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Yes. It's funny--who doesn't love a good fart story? :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. Yes. It left me puzzled... but I was smiling, and when I read the title, it made me think I'd be interested to read more, for the humor. Though it did make me think I'd be reading paranormal until I read the punchline and the title.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Yes. But only because my three MG sons would laugh themselves sick over this. *rolls eyes*

    ReplyDelete
  65. Yes. I would have said no, until I noticed it was MG, it's perfect for that genre.

    ReplyDelete
  66. YES! LOL, like Holly said: children love farts for some completely unfathomable reason. This works perfectly for MG. I can imagine my brother dying of laughter over this... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  67. Yes - his name and the fart made me smile - always enough to make me read on.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Yes - you had me at a superstitious day paired with flatulence!

    ReplyDelete
  69. Yes! Definitely grabbed my attention.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Yes. You had me at Beanblossom.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Yes. It targets the audience well and shouldn't be over-analyzed.

    ReplyDelete
  72. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  73. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Yes. Love this. Can't say it enough. It's funny, his name is fantastic, and use of the crude, cut-and-dry word 'fart' is perfect

    ReplyDelete
  75. Yes. Very funny that it's both his claim to fame and a terrible talent to lose on Friday the 13th

    ReplyDelete
  76. Yes.

    Good MG voice and humor. I like the funny claim to fame and the hint that bigger ambitions are on their way. Also, Beanblossom + fart.

    ReplyDelete
  77. No. I'm not a fan of opening with farts. But then again I don't read a lot of MG.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Yes. Funny and it will definitely appeal to your audience.

    ReplyDelete
  79. No. It tells me about before. It doesn't tell me about now.

    ReplyDelete
  80. No. MG should offer kids more than potty talk. I know they like it, but that doesn't mean it's good for them.

    ReplyDelete
  81. No. The potty humor didn't bother me n the slightest. I think it was the alliteration that bothered me, so it was the execution rather than the concept.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Yes, I can't resist (potty) humor

    ReplyDelete
  83. Yes. This is the perfect opening line for a MG (especially for boys).

    ReplyDelete
  84. I want to say yes, because it's very funny, but I always find 'fateful' a jarring cliche, so no. (Sorry!)

    ReplyDelete