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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Logline Critique Round Three #18

TITLE: Princess of Swans
GENRE: YA Fantasy

To save her war-torn country, sheltered, disfigured princess Feyana Belmaron must journey deep into hostile territory to find--and court--a ruthless enemy prince.

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9 comments:

  1. DayspringOctober 16, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    Love the idea of a disfigured princess and having to court a prince. Nice and simple logline too!

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  2. Judy MintzOctober 16, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    I like this; simple and to the point. And a disfigured princess is very appealing!

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  3. PiperRayneOctober 16, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    Perfectly to the point. I like this.

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  4. K CallardOctober 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM

    I like this one. Good job.

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  5. AnonymousOctober 16, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    I like this short but compelling. Nice job characterizing the protag. Maybe a tiny more about the opposition, and why a disfigured princess might become convinced to take on such a quest?

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  6. JaneDoeOctober 16, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    Love the idea. This is a great logline.

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  7. Holly BodgerOctober 16, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    It would help if you told us why she has to do this now as well as what will happen if she fails.

    Good luck!
    Holly

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  8. gailecnOctober 17, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    I love this one, too. Concise and tells us what we need to know. Wish I could get mine this short!

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  9. AnonymousOctober 17, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Would definitely read this one!

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